High School Of Weirdos
by LimeQuartz
Summary: Being rewritten. Insane out of characterness. SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen
1. Omg you're a wizard?

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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**A/N:** This is my first fan fiction… don't run away, though! Hope you enjoy it, and a note to people who are craving to flame, it's meant to be OOC, which means everyone will be out of character. I'm pretty fed up with receiving flames repeating, what I have already admitted. I apologize, in advance for the grammatical errors in this story… I have misplaced my Microsoft Word, installation CD, during this entire time and there were more misspelled words then I thought. So, at this very moment I am re-writing this piece of garbage. I really hate it when I make spelling mistakes.

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**"H**i**g**h** S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**In someone's house:**

Dun dun dun dun, ring ring!  
Dun dun dun dun, beep beep!  
Wakeeeeee uppppp!  
BATMAN COMMANDS YA TO WAKE UP...TODAY...IMMEDIATELY!  
YO!  
ring! ring! MU HA HA HA HA HA!  
beep! beep! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!  
YO!  
ring! ring! ring!  
beep! beep!  
ring!  
ring?  
rin-'

_''Wake up! Didn't you hear you're alarm clock? Batman commands you to wake up... today, immediately!'' _

''BATMAN COMMANDS YA TO WAKE UP...TODAY...IMMEDIATELY! YO!'' repeated the alarm clock, loudly.  
_  
''Hey? Are you listening to me? Wake up!''_

The young girl who was being scolded by her inner self placed the pillow over her head, in a futile attempt to block out the voice. "Perhaps, when Santa Claus is real..." muttered the pink-haired girl in her slumber, in a tone barely above a whisper.

_''When's that?'' _her Inner self asked, perplexed.

''Never...'' the girl muttered, under her breath, before shifting in her bed, uncomfortably.

Crickets, which were hidden in some unknown place, began chirping.

_"Listen to yourself once in a while! Wake up!'' _her conscience demanded, frustrated at her uncooperative self.

"Who are you, Mom?" the girl, groaned, in her sleep.

_''Do I look like Mom? Well, you can't see me… and you don't get sarcasm… Let me elaborate slowly, for you. First of all your parents are on a business trip, Second, off all, since you're too dense to figure out who I am and I know you're going to say yes to my question, I'll tell you. I am the inner you...or your conscience… you get it?''_

Sakura's eyebrows knitted together at her conscience's rather loud tone. Instead or retaliating out-loud, due to her exhaustion, she thought inwardly, "Coolies! (1) I have an inner self? Just like Pinocchio… Hey wait a minute… If you're me then that means you're also insulting yourself... oooouuuuuuu (2) burnnnnnnnn (3) Now, please go away, Mr.Stalker…""

-Silence-

_''Yeah...well, I recommend you waking up know or you're going to be late for your first day of school...again. And I'm not a stalker, and you just insulted yourself, BURN."_

"I'm going to be late for the first day of school...again?" the girl slurred, dumbly, her eyes still closed. The hand on her nearby clock twitched at met the numeral four. Sakura's eyes automatically opened and she fell off the bed, literally.

''What? I'm going to be late for the first day of hell?'' With that said, correction, with that screamed, the bewildered girl a.k.a Haruno Sakura quickly jumped out of her bed, brushed her teeth, took a quick shower, changed into a pair of jeans and a red top, brushed her hair carelessly, grabbed her backpack and rushed quickly out the door like a lunatic.

"I can't wait to see everyone again… Tch, that's a lie… I can wait. After-all, we've been hanging out together for practically, the whole summer..." she thought, as she ran towards Konoha High.

* * *

**The street where many car accidents occur:**

When Sakura turned the next corner of the block she abruptly, came face-to face with a street that caused many car accidents. She glanced, wearily; at the stop light to reassure herself if it was safe to cross, because she was well known for being clumsy sometimes... alright, make that all the time.

"Good it's safe" she finally confirmed.

-Or so she thought-

She was about to cross the street, when a incredibly shiny, red sports car drove past her, and in the process, almost crashed into her.

-That would have hurt… a lot!-

Sakura froze in her spot, as if her shoes were glues to the concrete sidewalk. She blinked when the automobile backed up so that it was before her. She resisted the urge to punch the window and give whoever was hidden behind it a 'valuable' lesson on pain. Overall, the vehicle looked really expensive and new but then again so was the new fork she bought from Naruto, who claimed it, was a 'special' antique.

"Watch where you're going jerk-o or, you'll land yourself in prison. Can't you tell the difference between red, yellow and green? You want me to switch that green light bulb into a purple one, so I'll make it easier for you to take in?" she screamed, shaking an angry fist at the very, very, shiny car.

_''Jerk-o?''_ her inner self repeated, confused at the strange word.

The black, dark, non-transparent window slid down revealing a man about her age. He was very good cross that out, very, very, good looking. He had dark onyx eyes and his hair color was oddly enough, similar to his cold eyes. Sakura was too furious to notice how 'hot' the man was until her inner self kicked in...

_''He's really hot! I bet he can make any girl drool!"_

"Who cares about that, he almost ran over us, and for your information I'm a girl and I'm not drooling! Plus, you have horrible taste in men." thought Sakura, aggravated.

_''You're a girl? And when have my tastes ever been wrong?"_

"You know you're insulting yourself, right? And remember the incident where you thought that person selling the popcorn was 'hot' and in the end it was actually, a girl? You remember that little mishap, inner me?" Sakura mused, to herself.

_''Good times, good times." _

Sakura was going to retaliate, to her 'conscience'. How could Pinocchio stand having a conscience? What was his name? Chimeny? Jimeny, maybe? She didn't get a chance to think again when a deep, annoyed, voice abruptly, broke her out of her thoughts.

"I'm sorry miss, but would you like a ride to school? Just you and me… don't worry, I won't bite." he sneered at the fuming girl.

"She's going to say yes, any minute now," thought Sasuke, as he sighed inwardly. "I never seen her around before, though... guess that's a good fact." he thought, positively.

"What a jerk!" Sakura hissed, under her breath, as she tightened her grip on her school bag in anger.

_''I thought it was jerk-o, now its jerk?''_ her inner self demanded.

"Who in the right mind, does he think he is? Mr.Oh-I-almost-killed-someone-I'll give-them-a-ride-and-its-okay?" Sakura pondered in frustration, interrupting herself.

_''No, he thinks he's Batman, obviously! Look at the car. It has 'I'm ready to save the day using my kick-ass skills' written all over it!" _her inner self retaliated.

"Hey! I like Batman, for your information! Batman has manners! 'F'-ing (4) manners!" she thought, angrily.

_''Well, he sure needs to change his wardrobe... let's take him shopping, sometime…"_

Sakura snapped back into reality when, Sasuke, reached out of his window, and began waving a hand in front of her face, which held a distant expression

''Yeah sure... I'd love to take you on that offer..." she replied sweetly, with a hint of bitterness, and sarcasm, well hidden in her tone.

"Che, women are so predictable." he thought victoriously, as his trademark smirk slowly, made its way to his lips.

"In your dreams pal!" she screamed, walking around the vehicle as she continued her way to school. She had this weird feeling she had seen him before, but shrugged it off when she realized he wasted her time, to meet Naruto and others.

"Interesting girl, she didn't fall for me like those ugly, horrific hair pulling fan girls...where did that come from? It also seems she doesn't, know who I am yet. Oh well, we will meet again"

-Dun dun dun dun!-

He watched as her slim figure disappeared but as she was running a book fell out her bag. Sasuke kicked open the door and bent down to snatch the book. He looked up, she was gone.

''I guess I'll have to return it to her'' he thought, as he sighed once more. His gaze fell from the school subject, to her name.

''Haruno Sakura, eh?'' he whispered, while smirking his trademark smirk... which is a smirk... which he is smirking… 'smirkingly'… which is not a word…

-Silence, followed by author apologizing to readers for random-ness.-

Someone coughed from a distant. "We'll meet again…" said Sasuke, evilly after being interrupted.

-Dun dun dun dun!-

* * *

**Some random place:**

"O-M-G! What are you doing?" asked Ino, in horror. She had just arrived here from her recent chat with Shikamaru and right before her was an odd and weird scene. Tenten had a dark shade of pink lipstick in her hand. She held it in a 'stabbing position' as she drew on an unconscious man's face.

"Wwhhaaaaaaa! You killed Neji! And now, you're drawing on his face in a futile attempt to get his forgiveness!" Ino, accused, taking a step back.

Tenten turned to face her aquatint and sent a strange look in the frightened girl's direction. "You've been watching way too many horror movies. They only corrupt your mind, Neji's just asleep." said Tenten, as she resumed drawing on Neji's face, as if it were paper.

Ino took a deep breath. Part of her was relieved, while the other wanted to smack her silly, for thinking so dumbly. "What are you doing Tenten?" Ino asked.

The brunette didn't answer for a while. "What does it look like I'm doing?" asked Tenten, evilly, after a few minutes.

"Drawing on Neji's face?" Ino offered.

Tenten grinned. "Then that's what I'm doing!'' she answered, as she drew a thick pink mustache on Neji, who was sleeping.

"Tenten, I don't think this is a good idea'' said Ino taking a cautious step back, once more.

"Why not?" asked Tenten. She advanced on, and drew some thick circular circles around Neji's eyes. Tenten then drew a lightning bolt on Neji's forehead. TA DA! Glasses and a lightning bolt... Neji was officially Harry Potter's twin! The only problem was the mustache and clown-like designs but whatever!

"Today's picture day..." Ino said, her voice filled with, what seemed like, fear.

"Naruto told me it was on the 28th of 'F.L.A.R.G!'" Tenten said.

Ino sweat dropped anime style.

"Tenten there is no month called 'F.L.A.R.G..."

Tenten mouthed a silent ''O'' and threw the 'evidence' which was also known as 'the tube pink lipstick' to some unknown place and stood up.

"Ha ha... let's pretend this never happened." said Tenten lamely.

"What happened?'' asked Ino innocently. Both Ino and Tenten began whistling. They began walking away innocently, from Neji, who looked like a clown with pink glasses, a lightning bolt and a pink mustache...

The pass-bys, took as many photos as their memory card could hold. Too bad Neji didn't know that.

* * *

**Konoha High:**

When Sakura finally arrived at the gigantic, crowded, high school, she smiled. It looked the same as it always did except there were more people than before. She stopped at the entrance and she glanced at her navy-coated watch, she had 7 minutes to chat with her friends although, she would've had more time if that arrogant 'jerk-o' didn't try to murder her...

"A very cute jerk-o!" her inner self added.

"No, I don't want to talk to you now!" she thought.

_''Fine, man, one word: mood swings! I'm the reason why you weren't late for school, fine then I'm outta here!''_ her inner self muttered. Sakura's bright, forest green, eyes scanned the crowds searching for her friends. She finally spotted something orange, more specifically Naruto's sweater.

"Hey! Naruto!" she yelled, waving at him. Naruto's sky-blue eyes locked with hers, it took him a few minutes to recognize it was her.

"Sakura!" he said, before pulling her into a big friendly hug. "I haven't seen you for years, I missed youuuuu!" Sakura sweat dropped at his weird statement.

"Um... Naruto you came over yesterday..." she said, hoping he could comprehend her meaning of 'yesterday'.

"Oh yeah... and then I ate all of the ramen in your small not-as-big-as-my-house, house! MU HA HA HA HA! Cough! Cough!" he exclaimed.

Sakura sweat dropped again, when she started to hear Naruto mutter things to himself like, "I almost got the evil laugh right, err the ramen cursed me with a cold, and why did you betray me ramen?" Naruto started to cry with rivers flowing down his face, anime style.

"Yeah... Naruto," said Sakura. ''I didn't have any ramen so you ate all of my Halloween candy, and started threatening it. You then started saying things like how it isn't as good as ramen but it'll have to do... THEN, you ran to Shikamaru's house, and ate all of his ramen when he was sleeping."

"I remember now!" Naruto said, as he remembered how fun yelling at every piece of candy was, before eating it. He then started thinking about how fun it was sneaking into Shikamaru's house, and then raiding him of all of his ramen when he was asleep. Naruto then attempted to laugh like a maniac once more he also, started coughing again.

At that exact moment Shikamaru, appeared beside Sakura. "Hey..." he started, but he was interrupted by a girly, window-breaking, scream.

"O-M-G, SHIKAMARU IS A WIZARD!" screamed Naruto, so loudly it broke a nearby window.

"Actually I..."

Naruto squealed like a girl, who had lost her favourite doll, and fainted before Shikamaru could finish his sentence.

Sakura gave Shikamaru a quizzical look, when he screamed, dramatically, "No one ever wants to hear what I have to say!"

"Umm… I want to hear what you were going to say, Shikamaru." She said.

Shikamaru grinned.

"I got a restraining order, yesterday!"

He began to do the ridiculous dance of victory, and ended up tripping himself, and falling on a nearby student who was chewing gum.

Sakura nodded, and said, "Me too! It was for my neighbour! She kept staring at me… it was weird."

Shikamaru gave her a weird look. "I got one for my doctor."

"Why'd you get one for your doctor…?" Sakura asked.

"Because he was stalking me… he called me… HE CALLED ME!"

"Aren't doctors supposed to do that? Like, aren't they supposed to call you and tell you when your appointment is?"

Shikamaru thought about it, and then nodded slowly. "Hey, you're right… ohh well! He still called me, what a stalker!"

Both Sakura and Shikamaru's attention then turned to Naruto. They sweat dropped anime style. This was definitely going to be a long day...

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**A/N:** Hope you liked it! Please leave a review! xD

Coolies (1) – I absolutely despise this word

oooouuuuuuu (2) – pronounced as 'you' without the 'y'

burnnnnnnnn (3) – I don't often use this word because I find it rather annoying… it makes me smile though. Good times, good times.

'F'-ing (4) – Even if I can swear in reality and in this 'T' rated fanfiction. I'm not going to, well at least not a lot. I'll try to avoid using immature insults such as this as much as I can because frankly, it just ruins the story in my opinion.

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**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"Okay class I believe it's time to introduce ourselves and by the way I'm Kakashi Hatake. You with the blond hair and funny face, you can go first."

"Hey! Who do you think you are, calling me funny face? You funny face! Well anyways I'm Naruto Uzumaki the smartest person ever! I like ramen, more ramen, threatening candy, and listening to music... BELIEVE IT!'' Naruto then tried doing the evil laugh again and yes, he started coughing again.

Kakashi and every one sweat dropped.

"Ohh I believe it alright, you little freak.'' thought Kakashi inwardly. "Okay then, what kinds of music do you like?" asked Kakashi.

He soon regret asking it when Naruto jumped on a near by desk, and shouted, "Arthur!" Naruto then started to sing, "Having fun isn't hard when you got a library card! Having fun isn't hard when you got a library card!"


	2. Attention maggots, we have a new student

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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**Last time in High School Of Weirdos:**

Both Sakura and Shikamaru's attention then turned to Naruto. They sweat dropped anime style. This was definitely going to be a long day...

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**"H**i**g**h** S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f **W**e**i**r**d**o**s"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Outside:**

"This is so troublesome, how are we gonna wake this idiot up?" asked Shikamaru in the laziest, lazy, tone ever.

"Don't worry, I'm an EXPERT at this!" exclaimed Sakura, emphasizing the word 'expert', and at the same time giving him the thumbs up, Gai-sensei style.

Shikamaru shivered, in utter fear, and said in the calmest voice he could muster, "Don't you ever, EVER, do that again... I'm serious! Don't you even think about it, no, don't you even DARE, do that again… ever."

"But that's what EXPERTS do!" she whined, while flashing him a smile, Lee style.

"AHHH! IDIOT! MY EYES! DON'T YOU EVER, EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Shikamaru stopped screaming, when he realized he was acting like a total lunatic. He coughed, lamely. "Ahem, sorry about that… I'm gonna regret asking this, but why are you an EXPERT in something as lame, and troublesome as this?" asked Shikamaru, as he countinued to secretly cringe in fear, from the smile that nearly made him blind.

"Sorry about that… well, to answer your question. On Halloween, I was dressed as a wizard! The awesome movie: 'The revolution of wizards shall spread! And then, Harry Potter shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here.' Inspired me to be a wizard for Halloween! ... It was such and awesome movie though! The part where-"

Shikamaru coughed, once more, and interrupted her insane speech on 'wizards'.

"Um, you're going of topic…" he said.

Sakura blushed. "Sorry… Okay, as I was saying before I almost lost my mind, I entered his house dressed as a 'Kick-ass' wizard and then…"

"Let me guess, he fainted didn't he?" asked Shikamaru.

"Well, not exactly. He ran around the house for approximately 25 times, squealed like a girl, begged the candy he threatened for forgiveness, and then fainted.''

Shikamaru sweat dropped. "Guess the candy never forgave him... OR it was EXPIRED! Now, how are we going to wake him up?'' asked Shikamaru, once more.

"For someone with an IQ of over 200, you're pretty slow..." began Sakura.

"I am not slow! I passed Asuma-sensei's very, VERY DIFFICULT TEST!" he yelled, lamely. Shikamaru then began relishing when Asuma acknowledged him, as a true genius...

* * *

**Flashback:**

"I must admit, you've done well passing my difficult tests so far, Shikamaru. It's not everyday I find a student who is able to survive my two DIFFICULT tests. Cleaning my garage and mowing my lawn, who would've thought anyone could actually do that!" said Asuma, still bewildered.

"I'm honored sensei! What is the final test that will determine my IQ sensei?'' asked boy, eagerly.

"It's too horrible! No one has ever passed it!" said Asuma, dramatically.

"You said that for the first two tests…"

SILENCE

"You're ruining the mood, Shikamaru, now let's try this again!"

"It's too horrible! No one has ever passed it!" said Asuma dramatically, AGAIN.

"I MUST PROVE TO THE STUDENTS, I AM NOT SLOW!" yelled Shikamaru, confidently.

"Okay, that was better! Now don't sue me if you suffer extreme injuries from bullies...The final test is...you must wear..."

DRAMATIC PAUSE

"A pink frilly dress"

Shikamaru froze.

"A pink frilly dress..."

"A pink frilly dress..."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Shikamaru, who began pulling his hair in horror.

"Kankuro, will you stop doing the echoes? It's turning Shikamaru into a psychotic maniac… no, really… it really is…''

''Aww man, but it makes it more dramatic! One last time?'' begged Kankuro.

Asuma sighed inwardly, "Alright"

"Pink frilly dress'' whispered Kankuro.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Shikamaru, in fear.

"My work here is done!'' said Kankuro, proudly as he disappeared to some unknown place.

"So, Shikamaru are you going to back out?'' asked Asuma.

"NEVERRRRRRR!" yelled Shikamaru defiantly.

"Okay!" said Asuma.

He pulled a pink frilly dress from his bag, and handed it to the lazy student.

"Why do you have a pink frilly dress, in your bag?" asked Shikamaru curiously.

"ALRIGHT WISE-GUY! If you keep this 'uber' secret I will spread a rumour to the staff and students that you are one smart GENIUS and I, myself, shall acknowledge you as a true genius, with an IQ of over 200! NOW, DEAL OR NO DEAL?" Asuma, read from his flashcard, which he had pulled out from no where.

"DEAL!" yelled Shikamaru.

Yup, that was the story of how Shikamaru was acknowledged as a true genius... without doing anything... how lame... Great time killer though!

**End of flashback**

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**Outside again:**

"Shikamaru?" asked Sakura in a concerned tone.

Shikamaru held his head and responded, "Yeah, what?"

"Are you okay?" asked Sakura.

"Yeah, why?" asked Shikamaru, scratching the back of his head, nervously.

"You've been muttering pink frilly dress, for the past minutes..."

''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''

Sakura sweat dropped.

"Um... Shikamaru... what was that about?" she asked the lazy man beside her.

"Hahaha sorry about that… blame it on my doctor, I think he gave me the wrong medication again. Hey! Now I remember! That's also, another reason why I got a restraining order against him! Now, about Naruto… how are we going to wake him up again?"

"FREE RAMEN!" shouted Sakura.

"Like that's going to work." muttered Shikamaru.

"WHAT! WHERE?" yelled Naruto, who was up on his feet again.

"Ahh well, first time for everything." muttered Shikamaru, who was secretly really, REALLY, angry that he was wrong, for the second time in a row.

"In the school" replied Sakura, ignoring the unmotivated teen's comment. In an instant the blonde rushed towards the school. He disappeared, but not before leaving a trail of smoke behind him.

"And he called me a wizard... He definitely suffers psychosis..." said Shikamaru, who was intensely freaked out.

Sakura sighed as she shook her head in shame. "I can't believe he still falls for that..." she thought. "Well, I better check on Naruto, to make sure he doesn't ruin the whole school, see you later, Shikamaru!" Sakura began walking, but suddenly a hand grabbed her wrist, roughly, and turned her around.

"I-is something wrong Shikamaru?" asked Sakura, slightly worried. He had this serious expression and it was really, really freaking her out... he looked like he was the one that was suffering from psychosis now.

"Sakura I..." said Shikamaru in a serious, yet worried tone.

There was a pause for what seemed like an eternity.

"Sakura I..."

"Yes..." replied Sakura in a slightly annoyed.

"Sakura I..."

The guy, who Shikamaru bumped into earlier, threw a rock at his head. "That's for making me choke on my gum, freak!" screamed the guy.

"Ow… that hurt… Uhh… Sakura I..."

"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

Apparently, Shikamaru took her advice because he shouted, rather loudly, "SAKURA, I DESPISE YOUR UNADULTERATED FOOTWARE!" Everyone in the entire school heard them, and all eyes were staring at them as if they were KICK-ASS ninjas, or something.

"Wow, thanks for the constructional criticism which-I-never-asked-for Shikamaru..." said Sakura. Her eye unnoticeably twitching, from his sudden, random, out burst.

"No problem, that's what comrades are for!'' he said, before walking away, leaving Sakura to talk to herself.

"For a second there, I though he'd say I love you..." thought Sakura.

_"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DISSED OUR SHOES!" _cried her Inner self, in self-remorse.

"Not you again... Mr.Stalker…"

_"Yes, it's me again, and I told you already, I am not a stalker! I can't believe you let him get away with it…"_

"First of all, he's my friend, I wouldn't want to send him to the hospital, at least not this month and second of all, I agree with you about the shoe thing… creepy, I'm agreeing with you!"

_"Yeah, who would have thought we'd get fashion advice from Shikamaru..."_

-PAUSE-

_"So, why wouldn't you want Shikamaru, to be sent to the hospital this month?" _Her INNER SELF inquired, curiously.

"Four words: Gai-sensei, hospital, volunteer, torture."

-SILENCE-

Those four words would scare anyone...

**

* * *

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**In the school:**

Sakura entered the school. She searched the locker areas then the classrooms. She then noticed water or should she say tears coming from the janitor's closet. As she approached it she heard someone sobbing. She turned the knob and opened the door.

Inside she saw Naruto crying (anime style) in a corner.

''What's wrong Naruto? You look like you've been forced to do laps, around the entire city with Gai-sensei.''

"A...Al...All...t...th...the...r...ra...ram...rame...ramen...w...wa...was...s...so...sol...Sold...o...ou...out!" Naruto stuttered out.

''Can you repeat that?'' asked Sakura, who was having a major headache.

''All the ramen was sold! It was sold out! I was too late Sakura! Too late! And hey, I was forced to run around the entire city with Gai-sensei, yesterday!'' he said dramatically. He then pretended to faint.

''Don't worry; I guess I could treat you and the others to ramen after school...''

"Yay thank you Sakura!'' he screamed, like a girl as he gave her a quick hug.

"Hey Naruto. Why did you hide in the janitor's closet?" Sakura asked, curiously.

''I'll tell you the whole story, from the beginning. It all started when I was going to hide in the classroom, but then I thought about Shikamaru and how he could find me easily using his wizard magic. Then I remembered this movie I watched. I think it was called: 'The revolution of wizards shall spread! And then, Harry Potter shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here.'"

Sakura gasped in shock. "You watched that movie?" she asked.

Naruto nodded. "It was AWESOME!"

"Hell yeah! 'The revolution of wizards shall spread! And then, Harry Potter shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here, is the best movie ever! The sequel 'The revolution of poets shall spread! And then, Shakespeare shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here' will probably be better, though!"

"Yeah! Anyways, remember the scene where they say how wizards are allergic to closets. So, that's why I hid here! Also, there was a mop in there that listened to my problems! Now, that's what I call free therapy!''

He then flashed a goofy grin. "Well, I better go tell the others about the ramen meeting after school see you later Sakura'' he then he ran to tell the others about the exciting news.

Exciting to him, but not Sakura who's going to be broke...

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**In class:**

It was pure luck, and chance, Sakura and her friends had first period together. She didn't know how it happened, but she didn't pursue the question, knowing something bad would come out of it.

''Hey Shikamaru!'' whispered Ino, but to Shikamaru, it sounded like she was screaming.

''Yeah, what is it Ino?''

"Did you notice the teacher isn't here, yet?'' she asked.

"No, it's too troublesome to notice." he replied.

"Hey! Shikamaru!"

"Yeah, what is it Ino?"

"Why is your name so long?"

"I don't know it's too troublesome to find out, check the dictionary." he replied.

"Okay, then from now on I'll call you Shika!"

"Shika?" he asked, giving her a weird look.

"Yup, that's going to be your nickname from now on!"

"It sounds… girly." He began, but he was interrupted by Ino.

"Hey Shika!" whispered Ino for the third time after 1.5 seconds.

"Yeah, what is it Ino?"

"Do you find me… troublesome?'' Shikamaru stared wide-eyed, at his classmate, slightly surprised at the unexpected question.

"If you don't wear pink frilly dresses then no... It's actually nice having you around.'' he replied, giving her a genuine smile.

"Thanks." she whispered, giving him a smile too. Both of them looked away from each other and countinued doing their own thing: Shikamaru sleeping, and Ino, talking.

* * *

**The classroom:**

Tenten and Neji, who were seated beside each other, stared at the couple from a distance.

"Aww isn't that cute?" asked Tenten.

"Sure, if you like that kind of mushy soap-opera stuff… Not that I watch Soap-operas!" protested Neji.

"Whoa… you're really jumpy… and you know, you should lighten up once and a while, and get a girlfriend while you're at It." she said, sarcastically.

Neji was about to retort when suddenly, there was a bunch of smoke and suddenly, a silver-haired young man appeared.

TA-DA!

He wore a mask which covered his face it was made with some sort of navy-blue, black fabric. He wore a Konoha headband (only for teachers!) that covered his left eye.

"Sorry I'm late class, but I have a life! I mean… uh… I got lost on the road of life!" said the man

Naruto stood up from his seat, and pointed at the man. "That's a lie, you wizard!" Naruto yelled.

"SHUT UP!" yelled the man, everyone turned silent.

"I am your fabulous teacher for this period."

No one dared to argue.

He then looked at his watch, which was also fabulous.

"Okay class I believe it's time to introduce ourselves and by the way I'm Kakashi Hatake. You with the blond hair and funny face, you can go first."

"Hey! Who do you think you are, calling me funny face? You funny face! Well anyways I'm Naruto Uzumaki the smartest person ever! I like ramen, more ramen, threatening candy, and listening to music... BELIEVE IT!'' Naruto then tried doing the evil laugh again and yes, he started coughing again.

Kakashi and every one sweat dropped.

"Ohh I believe it alright, you little freak.'' thought Kakashi inwardly. "Okay then, what kinds of music do you like?" asked Kakashi.

He soon regret asking it when Naruto jumped on a near by desk, and shouted, "Arthur!" Naruto then started to sing, "Having fun isn't hard when you got a library card! Having fun isn't hard when you got a library card!"

A shoe suddenly hit Naruto's head, making him fall off the desk, unconscious.

"Poor Naruto! I hope he's okay..." thought Hinata, as she watched the shoe hit Naruto's head, and gracefully landed on the ground, with a soft ''THUD''

"Kakashi-sensei!'' yelled a random kid in the back, "Can I get my shoe back?"

"Yes, you can, Jonny…" said Kakashi.

"Hey! My name's not Jonny! It's George!" the random kid shouted, grumpily, as he made his way to the front to retrieve his shoe.

Kakashi ignored the boy, and watched Naruto, slowly gain consciousness again. "You don't even have a library card, punk, only I have one! MU HA HA HA HA HA HA! Ahem, let's continue..." said Kakashi, lamely, as he began coughing.

He soon stopped, when the door opened, revealing the principal, Tsunade, and a dark-haired teen.

"Hello Kakashi" said Tsunade. ''This is Sasuke he'll be joining this class."

She stared at the half unconscious Naruto.

"What is he teaching them? Self defense?" she thought. "I'll leave Sasuke in your hands now Kakashi" she said, with uncertainty in her voice.

"Okay, thanks for the update." he replied. When Tsunade left the classroom, Kakashi took out a meter stick, (out of no where...) and slammed it against his desk, to get the attention of his idiotic students.

"Attention maggots! I mean Attention class, we have new student!" he practically, yelled.

Sakura, who was taking a short nap, raised her head only to lock eyes with the same man she saw before. It was the guy who couldn't tell green, apart from red.

Onyx eyes met green and green eyes met onyx.

The young dark-haired teen named Sasuke, smirked.

"Nice to meet you again, Haruno Sakura."

One word went through her clouded mind...

"DAMN..."

**

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**

**A/N:** I'm off to re-write chapter three, now. Hope you liked.

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**Next time in High School Of Weirdos:**

"So basically Hinata, to get Naruto to notice you, you'll have to hate him, and at the same time, beat the hell out of him."

"Okay Sakura, I'll, uh, give it a try..."


	3. A simple kiss

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**

* * *

**

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos:**

"Okay, thanks for the update." he replied. When Tsunade left the classroom, Kakashi took out a meter stick, (out of no where...) and slammed it against his desk, to get the attention of his idiotic students.

"Attention maggots! I mean Attention class, we have new student!" he practically, yelled.

Sakura, who was taking a short nap, raised her head only to lock eyes with the same man she saw before. It was the guy who couldn't tell green, apart from red.

Onyx eyes met green and green eyes met onyx.

The young dark-haired teen named Sasuke, smirked.

"Nice to meet you again, Haruno Sakura."

One word went through her clouded mind...

"DAMN..."

**

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**

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**In Kakashi's "fabulous" classroom: **

Haruno Sakura sat frozen in her seat.

"How... How does he know my name? Is he psychic? Whoa! That ruler is SHINY! Where did Tenten buy that ruler? I must have it! Hey, why is the sky blue? Why can't it be green like Lee's spandex jumpsuit? Wait, why am I asking myself all of this!" she thought, angrily.

"Hey! Freaky-psychic-guy! How the hell did you find out my name?" she shouted lamely, when she realized she was acting like an idiot.

Chouji shook his head in shame at Sakura's lame insult. "No, no, no! It's supposed to be: 'Hey! Freaky-PSYCHO-guy! How the hell did you find out my name? Damn, leave the insulting to the experts, losers!"

Sakura blinked. "Okay… uh… that was weird…" Sakura directed her attention back to Sasuke. "Hey! Freaky-PSYCHO-guy! How the hell did you find out my name?" she said, taking Chouji's advice.

Sasuke gave her his arrogant trademark smirk. "I have my ways _my_ little cherry blossom." he responded. He then casually winked at her causing, her to blush and look away in complete embarrassment.

"God that is soooooooooo damn cheesy, I swear even us nerds use it!" Shikamaru muttered.

The fan girls sighed, and began to idiotically, fall down dramatically like a stack of…

DOMINOS?

"WTF?" Neji asked himself. He was torn between laughing like a total maniac, and giving the new kid wedgies he would forever remember. Neji grunted in complete frustration, as he began to mutter e-knee-mione-moe to himself.

Shikamaru sighed and muttered his trademark catch-phrase.

Tenten and Ino were bursting out with laughter, as they watched, basically, all of the dense girls in their class fall to the floor. Hinata watched Naruto in fascination as he slowly got up from the ground. Naruto shook his head to stop the headache he got from the mysterious, random shoe. He looked and saw Sasuke. His first reaction: …nothing.

''Who's the new guy?" asked Naruto, with a voice obviously filled with boredom.

"Sasuke!" all the fan girls shouted, out dreamily as they stared at the good-looking teen, in front of them.

"Sauce-k?" asked Naruto, breaking the name into syllables. "What kinda name is that?" demanded Naruto.

The Uchiha sent Naruto an obtrusive death glare but the blond didn't even notice.

"Who cares actually... so what did I miss?" Naruto asked, as he crossed his arms over his chest. Chouji, who was Shikamaru's childhood friend, and at the same time a proud member of 'the nerds,' whispered something into Naruto's ear. Unfortunately, the news wasn't exactly what Naruto expected, and he ended up throwing an enraged fit.

"WHAT!" Naruto screamed, in such a loud tone it caused Chouji, to choke on the chip he was eating. The hyperactive scholar pointed a threatening, accusing finger at the emotionless boy on the other side of the room.

"How DARE you flirt with Sakura you bastard! I bet you haven't even watched a minute of 'The revolution of wizards shall spread! And then, Harry Potter shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here'!" muttered Naruto, as he narrowed his eyes dangerously. He then sent a look of distain towards the fan girls and then Sasuke, again.

"Whatever dead last. And how do you know I haven't watched a minute of that movie?" Sasuke retaliated.

"Don't you DARE call me a dead last you bastard! And fine then! If you're all that, tell me, what did 'insert name' say to Harry Potter when they first met?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke smirked. "He said, 'Are you really Harry Potter?'"

Naruto frowned. "Damn. But wait, what did Harry, respond to that?"

"No, I'm just a random guy from the streets they hired, kid." Sasuke answered.

"DAMN! No, way! You watched the movie?" Naruto asked, petrified, at the fact that Sasuke knew the movie trivia questions, he had just ask.

Sakura jumped up and down in excitement. "Wow! Fans! Finally, now, I can tell you guys what my favourite part in the movie was! Well, my favourite part was when-"

"SHUT UP!" their so called fabulous teacher exclaimed, loudly.

SILENCE…

"Since you know Sakura so well, Sasuke, you can sit beside her," said Kakashi, like a lunatic. He swiftly turned to Naruto, and pulled out another meter stick (out of no where…) and waved it threateningly in front of the poor boy. "And you get back in your seat or I'll personally glue your butt to your chair!"

"You'll never take my butt alive Kakashi-sensei," screamed Naruto, hugging his butt. "NEVER! MU HA HA HA HA! COUGH! COUGH!" Naruto once again failed the evil laugh.

HOW DISTURBING...

"Kakashi-sensei should I?" asked the same random kid. Kakashi nodded in shame and once again a random shoe attacked Naruto's head, leaving him unconscious. Sasuke took his seat beside Sakura.

Sakura on the other hand wasn't paying attention. She was worrying about his fan girls. Correction: Stalkers. The majourity of the 'stalkers' were giving her weird looks. Some were vicious glares, some gave her envious glares and some just gave her plain old glares. Suddenly, she felt a hand brush against her thigh.

She looked up at Sasuke… he was SMIRKING?

''I'm sitting beside a psycho!'' she screamed in her mind, frantically.

_''Hey keep it down!''_

Through-out the entire class Sasuke kept trying to make her uncomfortable… and it was working. She did nothing until Sasuke began to whisper sweet nothings into her ear. The one that caused her to crack was: 'Hey, princess, you, me, and a hotel room, how's that sound? You wanna have sex, or what?'

"What the fuck?'' she thought. She was confused at his actions, so she did the first thing that came to her violent mind.

''PERVERT! You should sooooooo be charged for sexual harassment! I knew you raped my stuffed 'insert name' plushie, from 'The revolution of wizards shall spread! And then, Harry Potter shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here.'!, filthy bastard!'' she screamed loudly, attracting the class's attention. She took the nearest book, to be more specific a heavy 675 paged textbook on her desk and whacked the daylights out of him.

BAM!

POW!

OW!

WOW?

All the fan girls fainted and cried dramatically, as they saw the big red mark covering imprinted on Sasuke's shocked face. Surprisingly, he looked amused and he was still smirking?

CREEPY…

He got up, staggered forward, and placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder for support. He lowered his lips down to her ear and whispered softly, "I like it when you play hard to get." He purred seductively, smirking beside her ear. He leaned back and stared at her. Sakura gave him a glare as he continued staring at her. Kakashi didn't even notice because he was too busy sitting at his desk, reading his perverted book, and laughing like a maniac.

Everyone in the class had an expression that looked like this: (O.O) Naw, just joking, they looked like this: (O.O)

Sakura ignored everyone and sat down, continuing to do her work from the 675 paged text book. Sasuke also took his seat, and through the entire period there was total silence... Well, not really since Kakashi's maniac-like laughter echoed in the room…

"Hey, you stole that line from 'Scars'!" yelled some random guy, disrupting the silence.

* * *

**After class:**

Everyone in the classroom including Kakashi had already left, leaving Sakura alone in the class to look for her history notebook.

"I have history next, so I have to find my notebook! I could have sworn it was in my bag! Oh no! Shikamaru's doctor is after my possessions!" she thought, in fear. She heard the classroom door shut and she looked up. There, leaning against the door with a cocky smirk plastered on his lips was the one, the only, Sasuke.

"Looking for this?" he asked, as he waved her notebook in front of her tauntingly.

"What? How did you get it? Never mind..." she offered her out, and waited for him to hand her the book.

He was still smirking, what an A-hole. "Who said I'd give it to you without a price?" he asked.

"Asshole… Fine, what do you want?'' she asked, slightly irritated that she was wasting her lunch time.

"Nothing much, just a simple kiss." he breathed, unaffected by her meaningless insult.

Sakura stood there frozen.

He leaned in.

"What should I do?" she thought, in panic.

He leaned closer...

_''Call 911!''_

* * *

**Lunch Break / Outside:**

"Okay Hinata. I'm going to help you get Naruto's attention!" said Sakura, straight forwardly.

"T-thank Y-you Sakura."

''Don't worry about it, Hinata that's what friends are for!" she said happily. She then frowned, as she remembered what Shikamaru said before.

''S-Sakura why weren't y-you at lunch today?''

Sakura blushed, inwardly, as she reflected about what happened a few minutes ago.

**_

* * *

_**

**Flashback: **

He leaned in.

''What should I do?'' she thought, in panic.

He leaned closer...

_''Call 911!''_

Sakura then did the first thing that came to her violent mind, once more...

BAM!

POW!

WOW!

AND

OW!

Sakura punched Sasuke right in the nose. He started getting an intense nose bleed. Ewwwwww… nosebleed… It's part of life! Nooooooooo!

The pink-haired girl panicked again. After a few minutes of freaking out she used her senses and handed Sasuke a box of tissues.

"I-I'm sorry…you just startled me.'' She responded nervously.

Sasuke said nothing and took the object from Sakura, pulling it out of her grasp roughly. Time passed by, and after a few minutes of unbearable silence the other spoke.

''You know…you hit pretty good…for a girl'' muttered Sasuke, giving his classmate a weak smile.

Smile? Sasuke does not smile! Wow! OOC-Sasuke, blah!

Sakura tried to refrain from calling Sasuke a sexist jerk. She smiled.

"I'll take that as a complement.''

"Hn" replied Sasuke.

"So…do you need anything? I have to go meet Hinata soon"

"Yes," he answered.

"What is it? I can get it for you..." she said, with apologizing smile.

"You." he said.

"Wha-" Sakura began, but before she could answer he pulled her down and his cold lips collided against her own. He then got up and left the room leaving, behind a very shocked student.

''Did...Did he just...''

She placed her fingers on her lips...

He did. She smirked.

"Ass-hole."

**End of flashback**

**

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**

**Back in reality:**

"Don't worry about it Hinata I was just looking for my notebook.'' said Sakura.

"Okay, if you say so."

"Okay, if you want him to notice you you'll have to be aggressive towards him. Notice how I always insult, slap and punch him?" The timid girl nodded.

"So basically Hinata, to get Naruto to notice you, you'll have to hate him, and at the same time, beat the hell out of him."

"Okay Sakura, I'll, uh, give it a try..."

"Good!" said Sakura. She glanced around, and out of all the people in the school, it just had to be Naruto.

"Now's your chance Hinata, go over there and beat him up!" Sakura shouted, like a coach.

Hinata sweat dropped.

"Here goes nothing..."

Hinata stood in front of Naruto and stared into bright blue sea eyes.

"Ohh, hey Hinata!" Naruto exclaimed, with a bright smile. (But not as bright as Rock lee…) He gave Hinata a friendly hug, but when he stepped back he noticed Hinata was unusually unstable.

"Hinata?'' he asked, in a worried voice.

"Naru-Naruto'' she then fainted. Naruto caught her with ease.

"Naruto is she okay?" Sakura asked, in concerned as she ran over to the prankster.

"She's alright. She just fainted when I gave her a hug..." he trailed of confused.

Sakura sighed in relief; she forgot Hinata was very nervous around Naruto.

"I'm going to take her to the nurse, see ya Sakura!"

"Okay I'll see you later Naruto." said Sakura. She watched as Naruto left with Hinata, in his arms.

"I wished Hinata was awake, so she could see how much Naruto cares for her..." thought Sakura with a sad smile.

Sakura's attention was directed towards a black shiny limo, in the school's drive way as she was looking for the others. Almost the whole school's populations of girls were surrounding the limo. All of them were screaming and pushing each other to get a better look.

Sakura was smart enough to go up the school's roof for a better view. What she saw was unbelievable well, sort off. Sasuke WAS the one standing beside the limo and a man about 5 years older than him, most likely his brother.

The man looked like Sasuke, only there were a few differences, such as their hair, eyes, height… you get then point. "They defiantly must be brothers." she thought. She heard the girls screaming "Sasuke and Itachi"

"Itachi? Why does that name seem so familiar?'' she thought, as she tapped the school's roof tiles in a strange rhythm.

Suddenly, Sasuke stared up at the roof and his gaze landed on her. She watched as he smirked and winked at her flirtatiously. All of the girls surrounding him sighed dreamily, thinking he was flirting with them.

Damn, you, OOC-Sasuke! Damn you!

Tsunade, the principal then came through the school doors and rushed towards the crowd.

"Alright everybody, scram!" she shouted.

The entire group of fan girls sighed, disappointingly, and began to follow Tsunade's warning, and left. Sakura was about to leave the roof since she was also, wasting her time.

"Sasuke, it seems even though I try to keep your alias a secret your fame prevails.'' muttered Tsunade as she sighed inwardly. Sakura automatically froze in her spot. What was Tsunade rambling on about?

Sasuke nodded casually at the principal's statement.

"Well, there's no point hiding it now. Everyone here now knows you're Uchiha Sasuke." muttered Tsunade.

Sakura stifled a surprised gasped as realization hit her. He was Uchiha Sasuke? The famous teen actor! How could she been so clueless? She now realized he didn't look that different. In show business and movies his eyes were red instead of onyx, but that was all. Sure, he dressed like a regular student but how could she not have noticed!

Her fingers trembled as they touched her lips. The truth was the boy that kissed her was actually a famous rich actor she met on TV. It seems they have met before after-all…but not in reality. Until now...

**

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**A/N:** This is beginning to seem like a parody fic…

**

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**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"Sasuke Uchiha, it is a privilege, for us to have you join Konoha High. I hope you've enjoyed your stay here for, you and Itachi do own this school. I understand Itachi, came by a while ago to see if you would like to stay here, or go to a private school. I also believed, you said yes."

Sasuke simply nodded.

"You are aware; you will be treated as a regular student, and will be punished if you break any rules just like others, right? Also, you'll have lots of freaks I mean, fan girls after you, correct?'"

''Yes" replied Sasuke.

"Great! Now that we know you will be staying, would you like someone to show you around? You haven't been in this school for a while, so it would be a great idea to have someone help, refresh your memory." Tsunade asked.

Sasuke smirked.

"I have someone in mind..." he said, mischievously.


	4. Hey! Back off! She's mine!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**

* * *

**

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos:**

Sakura stifled a surprised gasped as realization hit her. He was Uchiha Sasuke? The famous teen actor! How could she been so clueless? She now realized he didn't look that different. In show business and movies his eyes were red instead of onyx, but that was all. Sure, he dressed like a regular student but how could she not have noticed!

Her fingers trembled as they touched her lips. The truth was the boy that kissed her was actually a famous rich actor she met on TV. It seems they have met before after-all…but not in reality. Until now...

**

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**

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f **W**e**i**r**d**o**s"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Inside Principal Tsunade's office:**

"Sasuke Uchiha, it is a privilege, for us to have you join Konoha High. I hope you've enjoyed your stay here for, you and Itachi do own this school. I understand Itachi, came by a while ago to see if you would like to stay here, or go to a private school. I also believed, you said yes."

Sasuke simply nodded.

"You are aware; you will be treated as a regular student, and will be punished if you break any rules just like others, right? Also, you'll have lots of freaks I mean, fan girls after you, correct?'"

''Yes" replied Sasuke.

"Great! Now that we know you will be staying, would you like someone to show you around? You haven't been in this school for a while, so it would be a great idea to have someone help, refresh your memory." Tsunade asked.

Sasuke smirked.

"I have someone in mind..." he said, mischievously.

**

* * *

**

**Outside Principal Tsunade's office:**

Haruno Sakura leaned on the office door and pressed her ear against the closed door. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. So far she discovered two very unbelievable things.

One, Sasuke owned this school. Two, he is actually rich. Three, he's a FAMOUS actor.

Pfft. Yeah, right! Right?

"Why is he here?" she thought, curiously. "Why would he choose to go to a normal, poor, unsanitary, school like Konoha High? He could be in a private school now... could he be staying because of me?" She shook her head defiantly.

"This is not the time to go all out of character, Sakura! Damn, stop making me think cheesy thoughts you damn so-called author!" Sakura muttered to herself, ignoring the angered author who is resisting, the over-powering to write something she shouldn't.

"Yeah… I'm not going fall for him, I mean, NO I can't fall for him!"

_"Shouldn't it be the other way around?"_ her inner self asked.

"He stole my first kiss!" Sakura countinued to ramble, ignoring her inner self's remark. "Someone like him probably kissed a million girls though... It's probably no big deal to him... I'm probably just another one..." she thought bitterly.

Suddenly, Rock Lee appeared out of no where with a radio. He pressed the play button and began to rap… the horror…

"Sakura. Sakura. What is up? Will you date me? Please? Mease? Dease? Cheese? Lees? Wees? Seas? He's? Zease? Bees? Knees? Teas-"

"Lee! Uh… incase you haven't noticed, I'm trying to eavesdrop…" The pink-haired girl whispered.

"OH! You're eavesdropping on Principal Tsunade and Sasuke? Oh-my-BBQ! Can I join?" Lee yelled. His voice was filled with so much enthusiasm and loud volume, Sakura could swear the entire building shook.

Sakura slapped her forehead. "Shhh! Or they'll hear you… Lee, I don't know how to break this to you but you'd make a horrible ninja. To be a ninja you must know 'Silence is Golden'!"

"No, I would make a great ninja! Ask me any question so I can prove to you, Sakura, that I would be the ultimate ninja!" Lee said.

Sakura grinned. "Okay then, in 'The revolution of ninjas shall spread! And then, Chuck-E-cheese shall rule the World! Along with me, insert name here'!'s fan-made 3:91 minute trailer, what did 'insert name' say to Chuck-E-cheese?"

Lee closed his eyes. A few seconds passed, followed by minutes, and then hours. "He said… Do you like CHEESE?"

Sakura shook her head in shame. "No, he said, 'You're not a ninja!' and the Chuck-E replied, 'Yes I am!' and then 'insert name' said, 'Fine, if you are a ninja, then name the star shaped weapon that originated in 'ninja world'. Chuck-E then jumped out the nearby window to avoid the question, and then he was never seen again."

Lee shook his head, confusedly. "Wait, isn't Chuck-E-cheese a mascot for kids? Why is he a ninja! This is so strange… He's a random dude in a giant rat costume! I must make a rap song, for this confusing movie!" Lee cheered.

"Uh… you're not going to attempt to rap again, are you? Your words… they rhyme but they're not real…" she said, as she pushed herself off the door.

Lee shook his head.

"No, I AM rapping! I am saying the words with such speed you cannot see nor hear the movement of my words! So fast, you can't even see my mouth form the words!" He replied. Rock Lee then flashed her one of his blinding smiles.

However, Sakura was well prepared and pulled out a mirror. When she lowered the item, from her eyes, she saw Lee, on the ground, rolling on the hallway in pain from his own smile. Somehow, he rolled all the way out the school doors and to the street. Angry car drivers could be heard screaming random remarks such as, "That boy… why does he look like he's blinded by his own smile?", "I want that jumpsuit! To E-bay!", "One green piece of grass, two green pieces of grass, three gree- Wow! That piece of grass rolling down the street is human-sized!"

Sakura was about to aid Lee, but before she could even exit the school, the sound of the ambulance could be heard. Sakura ran out to the front of the school to see Lee being scolded by an ambulance employee. "See boy! Now, you know how it feels to be blinded by that weapon! You are lucky you're not injured now… be gone!" the man then threw some random powder he pulled out of no where at Lee. When the dust ceased Lee was still standing there. "Why won't this trick ever work? I threw the powder over my ice-cream and it worked! But why, oh why, won't it work on you?" screamed the man.

"Uh… I think your ice-cream could've just melted…"

"Hmmm… true, true." The ambulance guy then got back in the truck and drove off. After the strange occurrence came to an end, Sakura went back into the building and placed her ear on the door once more.

* * *

**Office:**

"Haruno Sakura" muttered Sasuke.

Sakura's eyes opened wide. She was about to run, but he opened the office door before Sakura could stand up straight causing her to fall into Sasuke bringing them both to the ground.

"Did you miss me that much? So much that you had the unbearable urge to spy on me?" asked Sasuke.

"Stop smirking, ass-hole!'' she yelled.

"My, my. What horrible vocabulary for someone such as you, my dear classmate. You still haven't even answered my question yet." he teased.

He then looked at their position and his smirk morphed into one of a pervert's. "I didn't now you wanted this so badly...you could've just asked, you know."

I sense OOC Sasuke…

Sakura gave him a confused look then looked at their position. She was too busy sorting out her thoughts she didn't even notice their position. Her look of shock made Sasuke's smirk grow wider. She was under Sasuke with him on top of her pinning her down forcefully.

"Get off of meeeeeeeeeeeeeee! And lose some weight!" yelled Sakura as she struggled to get the Uchiha off of her.

"AHEM..."

NO REPLY...

"AHEM!"

STILL NO REPLY...

"YOU LITTLE PERVERTED, HORMONE-CRAZED TWERPS!"

The two oblivious teens turned to look at their angered principal. They forgot that they were still in her office...

IDIOTS…

"So, I get your attention when I call you perverted twerps huh? Well, now that I have your attention I have two things to say. Sakura, you will be showing Sasuke around after school and secondly, if you plan on doing ''THAT'' don't do it in front of me now OUT!'' she yelled.

"Yes, sir, yes!" replied Sakura in utter embarrassment.

"I'll finish this later... when you show me around after school" he whispered seductively into her ear. He pushed himself up and a mocking smirk made its way to his lips.

''Like I'd let you.'' she snarled.

Sakura thought about the millions of girls that he probably did this to; how he would probably just dump one and move on to the next when he was bored. She then shoved Sasuke out of the way and stormed off leaving a confused teen behind.

"Must be mood swings." thought Sasuke. He then exited the office too, leaving behind a very horrified principal.

"Now, I know what teenagers do in their spare time." Tsunade thought in horror.

10 minutes later.

"Wait, did she call me sir…?"

WEIRD!

**

* * *

**

**Hallway after school: **

"This is the water fountain, this is a locker and this is a garbage can... wow! It's not like Sasuke can't figure this out by himself… heck, who am I kidding! Sasuke probably can't even tell the difference between justice and pie." Sakura muttered to herself.

The scholar was walking around the school looking for Sasuke and the silence was around making her feel very uneasy.

Suddenly, a hand was placed on her shoulder making, her jump in surprise.

"You've got some nerve making me wait for you, jerk." said Sakura, slightly annoyed.

She turned around and to her surprise it wasn't Sasuke, it was a student in her class, he was a really quiet boy… What was his name again? Wait… his name rhymes with bin… Ohh of course his name is Jin!

(Cues creepy music)

''Hey, what are you doing here after school Jin?'' Sakura asked. She was suddenly pinned to the brick wall with powerful force.

This, my friends is where the OOC-ness really kicks in.

She gasped when she felt her back come into contact with the cold, solid surface.

"Ji-Jin?" she stuttered. She stared into his gleaming grey eyes. She could see the burning lust in his eyes… Just like the white hot intensity of a thousand suns!

"I'm going to make you mine." he said in such a creepy voice, it would make Orochimaru himself, proud.

"What?" Sakura screamed. She then began clawing at her retarded classmate, in a desperate attempt to escape.

"You never noticed me; you never even knew I had feelings for you." Jin muttered in a lowly voice.

_''IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN READ YOUR MIND!"_

''I-I'm sor-sorry'' whispered Sakura. Tears welled up in her eyes. She was officially freaked out.

"What pisses me off most is the fact that you notice a new kid! What does he have that I don't huh?" yelled Jin.

_''Hm... Well that's a hard question!''_ said the Inner Sakura, sarcasm was evident in her voice. A nervous smile graced Sakura's lips. If she wasn't freaked out, she was sure she would have rolled over with laughter.

"Get off of me, already!" yelled Sakura.

Jin paid no attention to her request. He leaned in to kiss her but before his lips could even make contact with hers, he was Pawned… he was Pawned with a capital 'P'. The sudden impact on his cheek caused him to stumble back in shock and immense pain.

Sasuke turned to the teary-eyed Sakura and frowned. He then turned to the freak and his frown deepened. "Hey Buster, don't you ever touch her with your filthy non-sanitized hands. If anyone's gonna kiss her it's me. She's my girl, remember that idiot. Oh, and purell is the best sanitizer, dude."

Jin laughed evilly. He sounded like he was on crack or he had been sniffing white-out 24 hours a day making him high… really high.

"Did you just say your girl, Uchiha? Sorry, I think you got it all wrong…she's mine… and thanks for the advice! I'll go get some Purell sanitizer after.'' remarked Jin.

"Sa-Sasuke? WAIT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M YOUR GIRL? And Buster? Couldn't you have thought of anything more heroic?" demanded Sakura with her hands on her hips.

SILENCE...

"Ahem, yeah. So you think you can stop me, punk?" asked Jin.

"Yeah, in fact I can beat the crap outta you without even moving over 5 steps." said Sasuke, with a sinister smirk.

"What are you talking about are you on high or something?" asked Jin.

"I should be asking you that." returned Sasuke. He took out a pocket knife and held it threateningly, in front of Jin.

"Sas-Sasuke it isn't worth it!" yelled Sakura.

Sasuke took a step forward. "One," he muttered.

Jin, who was very afraid, turned around to flea to "who knows where".

"Two" Sasuke took another stop towards the other.

Jin ran. Too bad he didn't expect what would happen next. His face met the cold, hard, wall and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Wow, only two steps. A new record. I dub this kid Idiot of the year."

Sasuke then turned to Sakura who was wiping the remains of her tears.

"He'll be alright." Sasuke assured Sakura, as he put his knife away. He then turned to Sakura and offered her a hand to stand up. She gradually, accepted his hand.

"Than-thank you Sasuke. I don't know what wou-would have happened if yo-you - "

She was cut off when she felt his cold lips press onto hers. He took the lead and soon their lips molded into a dominate kiss. He pushed her against the brick wall as his hands began to caress and explore her body. She gasped and then moaned in the kiss. This kiss was different though...

it had passion and….

...she kissed him back and this time...

There was no regret…

…Or was there?

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Chap 4 re-done

**

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**

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"I love you, Naruto."

"I'm sorry I can't love you." he answered.

''Why?" asked Hinata. Tears of frustration began rolling down her face.

"Why can't you love me?" she whispered.


	5. Confessions

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"Than-thank you Sasuke. I don't know what wou-would have happened if yo-you - "

She was cut off when she felt his cold lips press onto hers. He took the lead and soon their lips molded into a dominate kiss. He pushed her against the brick wall as his hands began to caress and explore her body. She gasped and then moaned in the kiss. This kiss was different though...

it had passion and….

...she kissed him back and this time...

There was no regret…

…Or was there?

* * *

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"**  
**B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Hallway – After School: **

Sasuke broke the kiss for some air. He was going to claim her lips again but he noticed Sakura was still crying even though that nut-case, Jin was unconscious. He reached towards her face to dry her tears but she hastily slapped his hand away. Sasuke stared in shock while Sakura looked away from his intense gaze.

"What's wrong?" demanded Sasuke.

"I'm sorry. But I have to go" came Sakura's stiff reply. She then dashed for the school's exit but a hand grasped her wrist firmly pulling her back.

"I'm walking you home. We can talk on the way there."

By the look in Sasuks's eyes it was obvious she didn't have an option.

"Okay"

They both walked hand-to-hand out of the school. Sakura shivered in disgust. She was lying to herself for the first time.

Against her will, she was trying to hate him.

* * *

**Nurses' office – After school: **

Hinata opened her eyes to see Naruto with a happy grin on his lips. "Hinata you're awake! I thought you fainted because I didn't take a shower for a month, boy I was wrong!" yelled Naruto.

SILENCE...

"Where is everyone Naruto?" asked Hinata changing the uneasy subject.

"Everyone went home, DUH! Schools over!" said Naruto flashing his famous goofy grin. He watched as Hinata pushed herself up from the bed.

"You waited for me all this time?"

"Yeah...the nurse didn't want to wake you and I didn't want to wake you either so I waited!" shouted Naruto.

"I-I'm sorry I made you wait. Thank you Naruto."

"Naw, don't be sorry. It's no problem at all, reeaallyyyy!" he said as he emphasized the "really."

Hinata giggled at his enthusiasm. "Naruto, I have to tell you something important... I;ve been trying to tell you for a very long time" she said in the calmest voice she could muster.

"Hmmm? What is it Hinata?" he asked curiously.

"I love you, Naruto."

"I'm sorry I can't love you." he answered with a hint of fear in his voice.

''Why?" asked Hinata. Tears of frustration and remorse began rolling down her snow colored skin.

"Why can't you love me?" she whispered.

"Because I...I..."

"Who is she?"

"Hinata..."

"Shut-up! I loved you! No, I love you! And you love someone else…Tell me who she is!" Hinata cried.

''It's"...

Hinata narrowed her eyes. Tears slid down her face. She wiped them away with the sleeve of her coat. "We're friends at least, aren't we? At least tell me her name." muttered Hinata.

"It's you..." he whispered. Hinata's eyes widened as she was pulled into a warm embrace. "I can't love you because I already do Hinata. I was scared whether you would accept me or not..."

"Naruto. I've always loved you.'' she whispered.

''Ahh, I know. I was just too blind to see.'' he said. He then gently pushed her down on the bed and leaned down to capture her lips. The kiss was a shy and chaste kiss but it meant the world to Hinata.

She closed her eyes and smiled as Naruto embraced her once more.

"Finally. Someone who acknowledges my existence…"

* * *

**Park - Evening: **

Sakura sat on one of the swings and started rocking back and forth on it. Suddenly, someone gripped the swing causing it to stop immediately.

"Stop doing that, the squeaking sound reminds me of Naruto when he's snoring in class.'' snorted Sasuke. Sakura flashed him a smile but he knew instantly it was fake. He sighed, "Sakura tell me what's wrong."

PAUSE...

"Why me?" she whispered.

"You're not making any sense Sakura" he stated.

"Why are you acting like you have a relationship with me?" she cried. "Why are you toying with my affections? Why did I fall in love with you...what am I to you?" she whispered.

Sasuke was shocked. She thought he was using her? She thought this was all some prank? What shocked him most was when she said she loved him.

He looked beside him to see Sakura was not on the swing anymore. He looked forward to see her walking away. Sakura increased her pace but before she could take another step she was pushed backwards; her back gently met the rough wood.

She gasped when he placed both arms at the side of her head to support him and at the same time; cornering her. His raven bangs shielded his eyes, expression and face but she could tell he was amused at her shocked expression.

"How could you think this was all a lie Sakura? Everything I said and done was all true, I meant ever word and action I did. You're the first and only girl that will catch my attention and I would kill anyone that tries to take you away from me."

Sakura looked at him wide-eyed. "Did he just confess to me?" she thought.

Sasuke raised his head so that his eyes met her eyes.

"Confused?" he asked with his usual smirk.

He leaned down and whispered slowly into her ear "In other words I love you, Haruno Sakura."

Before Sakura could respond, his lips crashed onto hers. Sasuke nibbled on her bottom lip begging for an entrance and she complied. He ran his tongue along her lower lip seductively before plunging his tongue into her mouth. There tongues intertwined with each other. Sasuke's hands wrapped around her waist possessively while, Sakura wrapped both her arms around his neck deepening the kiss.

"AHEM"...

NO RESPONSE...

"AHEM"...

STILL NO RESPONSE...

"PEOPLE WHO MAKE-OUT IN THE PARK WILL BE CHARGED 10 DOLLARS! 10 FUCKING DOLLARS!"

Sasuke and Sakura stopped making-out and glanced at the speaker. Some might say this is a coincidence but and it just had to be Itachi! Itachi looked at the couple and smirked.

"So now you notice me after I threaten you? I feel so loved!" Itachi said sarcastically he then added, "Sorry to interrupt your make-out session I just happened to be dropping by at this second, minute and hour...I'M NOT SPYING ON YOU IF THATS WHAT YOUR THINKING!" said Itachi in a quivered voice.

Sakura and Sasuke sweat dropped...did he have to make it so obvious?

"Do you need something Itachi? Sakura asked politely.

"Not really. I was going to tell you this joke but you seem busy so...yeah I'll be going now." said Itachi.

"Wait, I'd love to hear it Itachi!" yelled Sakura, her face beaming in excitement.

Sasuke rolled his eyes THIS WAS GOING TO BE LAME! Sasuke recalled all of the so-called jokes he suffered listening from Itachi through out his childhood...

_

* * *

_

**Flashback: **

"Sasuke do you want to hear a joke?" asked Itachi.

"Sure!" said Sasuke. ''Knock! Knock!'' said Itachi.

"Who's there?" asked Sasuke.

"Me!" said Itachi.

That was one of the jokes that drove Sasuke INSANE since he heard it about 5 times a day...But wait! What would happen if Sasuke said Itachi was at the door? The following would:

"Sasuke do you want to hear a joke?" asked Itachi.

''NO''

Itachi gave him an evil glare that melted an ice-cream cone once.

"Fine" said Sasuke in defeat.

"Knock! Knock!"

"You're there!" screamed Sasuke accusingly.

SILENCE...

"NOOOOOOO YOU ARE!" screamed Itachi.

Sasuke sweat dropped, he would never get the hang of this.

Poor Sasuke...

**End of flashback **

**

* * *

**

**Back to the story:**

"Maybe we should go home now!" said Sasuke. Itachi and Sakura stared at him confused at the sudden, random out-burst.

"I mean it's going to rain soon so we better go home. You can tell us your idiotic I mean creative joke later." said Sasuke.

"Sure! Why don't you stay a night at the Uchiha mansion Sakura?" asked Itachi.

"Do you need to call your parents Sakura?"asked Sasuke taking out his cell phone.

"My parents are on a far away business trip I'm living alone." said Sakura.

"It seems we have a lot in common. I'M GLAD YOU'RE GOING TO BE MY SISTER-IN-LAW!" yelled Itachi as he pulled a flag out his coad and began waving it. Sakura blushed. He thought she was going to marry Sasuke? Not that she has any problems with that. There was not a hint of an expression on Sasuke's face.

''It's settled then you're staying the night Sakura.'' said Sasuke. Before she could protest he picked her up bridal-style and started walking.

''Wha…what are you doing?'' she asked.

"What's wrong with carrying your girlfriend?" he asked. He smiled. It was a smile made only for her and a smile that freaked Itachi out so much he could've sworn he was going to have a heart-attack.

"He looks cute when he smiles"' thought Sakura. She gave him a smile in return.

"I have never seen him smile before and I must admit it creeps me out more than Kisame's cooking. Now I'm probably going to have a heart-attack due to that creepy smile…damn my insurance. This girl changed him a lot, who knew Sasuke would be able to catch someone as cute as her." thought Itachi as he smirked inwardly.

"I'm going to the doctors now…I mean I'm going to stay at the OTHER house I don't want to bother you guys have fun ALONEEEEE!" he said. He then disappeared to an unknown place.

"Sasuke...how many houses do you have?" asked Sakura still a little freaked out by the fact that Itachi just disappeared in thin air... (OR DID HE?)

"I lost track..." he said simply. Sakura kissed his cheek making him smirk.

"I knew you'd fall for me from the first moment I met you, what can I say? I'm irresistible." said Sasuke in an I-know-everything tone. Sakura gave him a glare.

He chuckled, "I'm just joking! I fell for you too, Sakura!" he smirked and then he gave her a light kiss on the lips as he carried her home.

They were too busy to notice a figure watching them from a distance.

"Enjoy her while you can Uchiha because she's MINE..."

UH OH! NOT AGAIN!

THE POLICE HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THEIR JOBS...

* * *

**A/N:** Who's the mysterious guy? You'll find out soon and it's not Jin just to tell you. Itachi's a good character in my fiction! Hope that's okay.

**Note:** this story is OOC but worth your time...well at least I hope it is.

**

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**

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"Sasuke!" squealed a random fan girl. "Why are you holding HER hand?"

There was jealousy in the fangirl's unusual squeaky voice.

"Simple she's my girlfriend." replied Sasuke casually.

SILENCE...

''BASTARD! YOU'RE COURTING SAKURA-CHAN?''


	6. Sasuke's strange flashback

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**

* * *

**

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos:**

They were too busy to notice a figure watching them from a distance.

"Enjoy her while you can Uchiha because she's MINE..."

UH OH! NOT AGAIN!

THE POLICE HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THEIR JOBS...

**

* * *

**

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f **W**e**i**r**d**o**s"**  
**B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Uchiha mansion:**

When they reached the front door of the Uchiha mansion Sasuke stopped in front of the huge door as he searched for his keys. "COWABUNGA, you live here?'' yelled Sakura in surprise. She knew her "boyfriend" was a famous and rich actor but this mansion was huge! It was big as something big...yeah!

"Hn" answered Sasuke (IF YOU CAN CALL THAT A ANSWER...)

Sasuke took out his keys and kicked the door open carelessly. Sakura was still completely frozen and blocking the entrance, she was staring straight at the wall in his house as if it was a UFO. Hooray for unidentified, flying objects!

Sasuke pushed her in as lightly as possible but apparently he was really strong so she fell right on her bottom. Sasuke sweat dropped as she started to shout some strange curses in gibberish. A language only she and Naruto could ever comprehend.

"Sorry" he muttered and he went over to help her back up.

"It's not okay!" Sakura yelled.

Sasuke stared at her.

"It's okay now!" said Sakura all of a sudden.

Sasuke stared at her very confused.

"You've been hanging around the idiot when he didn't take his medication yet haven't you..." accused Sasuke.

SILENCE

COUGH

SILENCE

"Maybe... -cough-CURSE YOU-cough- Yeahhh, So what do you think of your new friends? Besides Naruto because I know your going to say he's a loser that likes threatening candy'' said Sakura changing the subject.

She was really mad that Sasuke found out her SUPER-DOOPER-ULTIMATE-SECRET… who could blame her?

"Well..." began Sasuke as he thought back to a few minutes ago...

**_

* * *

_**

**A really long flashback that basically takes up this entire chapter:**

When Sasuke was carrying Sakura home they bumped into Sakura's friends… what a coincidence!

"Hey guys!" said Sakura.

Everyone greeted Sasuke and Sakura. The pink-haired girl then noticed Lee wasn't around.

"Where's Lee?" asked Sakura.

"He's probably working on his cool guy poses.'' answered TenTen.

SILENCE...

OKAY THERE...

''Sakura!'' Naruto shouted as he ran towards Sakura with Hinata beside him. He was about to give her a friendly hug until he noticed Sasuke was CARRYING HER?

HAS THE WORLD STOPPED SPINNING? HAS TAP DANCING, TALKING BLUE BERRY MUFFINS TAKEN OVER THE WORLD?

"You can let me down now, Sasuke…" said Sakura. Sasuke grunted and dropped the poor girl.

"Owwww! Sasuke you jerk!" whined Sakura. Sasuke sighed in annoyance and offered the girl his hand.

"Hey bastard! How dare you just drop Sakura like that! Unhand Sakuraaaaaaa!" yelled Naruto as he started to pull on Sasuke. Or he thought he was…

"Idiot, I'm over here." said Sasuke monotonously as he watched Naruto idiotically pull on a branch rigorously.

"Ha ha..." Naruto laughed, nervously. "I thought the tree was you... I MEAN I was just testing you yeah that's it!" said Naruto lamely. Sasuke shook his head in disbelief. How could anyone be so dumb?

Suddenly a cloud of smoke appeared covering everyone's field of vision...

"What the hell!"

"Omg my hair!"

"Hinata?"

"Sasuke!"

''PERVERT!''

"I'M INSULTED..."

"WTF?"

"STFU!"

"I didn't say anything though…"

"Naruto!"

"Sakura?"

"NOOOOOO! My chips! That was 1 dollar and 12 cents! 12 cents!"

"ARF ARF!"

"BOW WOW!''

"This is so troublesome..."

"DUDE THIS IS LIKE SO WACKED OUT..."

SILENCE...

"RIIGHTT..."

"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?"

The smoke began to clear and out appeared...KAKASHI!

"Naruto! You forgot to take your medication again haven't you?" Kakashi shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at Naruto.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW DID YOU KNOW? I MEAN MAYBE..." said Naruto lamely.

Everybody stared at Naruto.

"I REALLY NEED THERAPY?" Naruto shouted, hoping they'd stop staring.

Everyone still stared at him.

"Will everybody stop staring at me?" he yelled.

They still stared.

"Please!" he begged.

They still didn't listen.

"Fine! I didn't take my medication! I was busy breaking into Kakashi-sensei's house and stealing all of his ramen! But, when broke into his house when he was sleeping and snoring I realized THERE WAS NO RAMEN! So then I saw some children and I tried to take their candy but they kicked my ASS! Can you believe that? What have their parents been teaching them? WHERE ARE THEIR MANNERS! So then I went to Konohamaru's house and begged for candy and I guess I forgot to take my medication...NOW PLEASE STOP STARING AT ME!'' confessed Naruto sobbing on the ground dramatically.

Kakashi was so happy he forgot the students were still there so he shouted: ''HA HA! I knew it! The finger never lies! Now all I need to do is find Gai and tell him it was Naruto and not Neji that broke into my house and then...and then..." said Kakashi.

"AND THEN?" asked everyone curious, what Kakashi has won except for Neji, who was still insulted that his own teacher thought he was a thief...

"I'll have 10 cents!"

Everyone fell to the floor...

"Well, nice talking to you guys I'll go now!" said Kakashi.

"Wait! Don't I get something for making you 10 cents richer?" asked Naruto.

"Uhh… look a unicorn!" screamed Kakashi. Naruto turned around. Kakashi then took the opportunity and escaped. Naruto then fell to the ground sobbing. "I missed the unicorn! NOOOOOOOOOO! Damn, Now I'll never meet Barbie…"

Sasuke shook his head in shame and pulled Sakura close to him, holding her hand. Just when the gang thought everything was back to normal a weird shrieking sound reached their ears.

"Sasukeeeeeeeee! There you are my unbelievably, delicious, hot classmate!" squealed a random fan girl. The fan girl approached the gang and narrowed her eyes.

"Sasuke!" squealed the random fan girl in disbelief. "Why are you holding HER hand?"

There was jealousy in the fangirl's unusual squeaky voice.

"Simple she's my girlfriend." replied Sasuke casually.

SILENCE...

Sasuke noticed that Naruto and Hinata were extremely close through this whole "WACKED OUT" experience.

"That's none of your business. Your courting that girl. Aren't you?" challenged Sasuke.

Everyone stared at Naruto and Hinata. Naruto's face was red from anger since Sasuke was right…again, while Hinata simply blushed.

"STOP STARING AT ME!" screamed Naruto.

"Hey like what about me?" shouted the random fan girl.

"Why don't you go date that random shoe guy in chapter 2?" suggested Shino.

"Hmmmm… He sounds pretty interesting! Thanks!" the fan girl said.

When the fan girl left, Kiba fell to the floor laughing.

"Bwaaaaaa! Haaaaaaa! Ha! Next thing you know they'll be making a website for Shino called exclaimed Kiba laughing so hard he started clutching his stomach and after that choking...

"You don't know how much I'd like to kill you right now..." said Shino.

SILENCE...

"Yeahhhh...so what were we talking about again?" asked Tenten.

"Oh yeah! Is it true you and Naruto are a couple?" asked Sakura.

"Ye-yes" stuttered Hinata with her face a light shade of pink.

''Congrats!'' said Sakura. All of the girls gave Hinata a supportive hug and then Sakura.

The boys stayed far away...they learned something new…girls are weird...

"So Uchiha, what did you do to get Haruno's attention?'" asked Neji.

Sasuke thought he sounded a little desperate?

"None of your business Hyuuga," said Sasuke.

"I see you know my name. I must be more famous then the great teen actor Sasuke Uchiha then" said Neji proudly.

Chouji took a bite of his chip and said while eating, ''Actually MUNCH Neji MUNCH I MUNCH think MUNCH he MUNCH just MUNCH...''

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THE MUNCHING?"

"How troublesome...I think Chouji's trying to say Sasuke just read you name tag" said Shikamaru lazily.

"What's that name tag for anyways?" asked Sasuke.

"I baby-sit...because it is my FATE!" sobbed Neji.

"I feel you pain..." said Kiba out of no where.

"Really?" asked Neji.

"No, but if it makes you feel better I can pretend to..." said Kiba.

"Sasuke, we better get going. It's going to rain soon…" said Sakura.

He nodded his head and turned back to his new friends. Even though they haven't said anything about being friends it was obvious they'd be best friends forever even Neji...right?

"I'll see you at school tomorrow because it is FATE! AHEM sorry about that...see ya" said Neji as he walked away.

"It's too troublesome to say bye but yeah...bye." said Shikamaru.

"MUNCH bye! MUNCH." said Chouji.

"ARF! ARF!" barked Akamaru.

"Akamaru says bye so I guess I don't have to!" said Kiba as he departed.

"Bye ramen! I mean people!" said Naruto as he and Hinata walked home.

After everyone said their goodbyes and left Sasuke and Sakura walked to the Uchiha mansion and that's how Sasuke made some interesting friends...

**End of flashback**

* * *

**Back To Reality:**

"Sasuke! Earth to Sasuke!" said Sakura as she waved a hand in front of Sasuke.

"Huh?" asked Sasuke dumbly.

"You were saying "well"...for the past 15 minutes! I was going to call 911!" said Sakura in a worried tone.

"Well, you don't have to worry about it anymore." said Sasuke.

"So what do you think of your new friends?" asked Sakura once more.

"I think the retard is a candy threatening idiot that falls unconscious whenever a shoe hits him, I think Hyuuga is a sissy because it is his FATE and he just is, I think the troublesome guy stole a copyrighted catch-phrase, I think the chip guy should keep munching his chips when talking because it pisses Hyuuga off, I think the "MATCHMAKER" is very helpful because he could get rid of my creepy fan girls, and I think the Dog dude is dog dudish...yeah..." Sasuke answered.

"So what do you think about my friends?" asked Sakura curiously.

"Well..." began Sasuke once more. "I think I should feel sorry for the girl dating the retard but I strangely don't..., I think the girl with the two bun thingy is stupid and aggressive, I think the blond haired girl is a idiotic fan girl..."

Before Sasuke could countinue Sakura whacked him with a FRYING PAN?

"Be nicer! What are you? Simon Cowell from American idol?"

"You didn't let me finish!" snapped Sasuke. "Even though they look idiotic and probably are they're your friends so I'll like them too, for your sake...and your annoying..."

Sakura raised the pan.

"Because I can't get you out off my mind!" said Sasuke quickly before the frying pan came to contact with his head.

"That's cheesy...but sweet." said Sakura. She leaned down and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"I can't believe that worked…" he muttered to himself in relief.

After they ate dinner and watched a movie Sasuke showed Sakura to his room.

"Do you mind if we share a bed?" he asked when they entered the room.

"Maybe..." said Sakura glaring at him.

"C'mon I'm not that bad… I've known you for what, 5 months now?"

"Yeah, and during the first 2 months you've been torturing me with pranks." countered Sakura. After a few minutes of awkward silence Sakura sighed. "Okay, fine. Just no pervert stuff okay? Like touching…" said Sakura with a smile.

"Deal" he said as he switched off the lights. They both lied down. Everything was quiet until Sakura shifted around and wrapped an arm around Sasuke.

"I thought you said no touching." said Sasuke.

"Hmmmm" she answered as she snuggled closer to him.

"You're starting to sound like me" he said teasingly.

She giggled and gave him a light kiss.

"Night" she whispered.

He kissed her and then hugged her closer.

"Night" he whispered.

* * *

**Outside the mansion, a creepy stalker roams:**

A mysterious figure stood at the front doors of the Uchiha Mansion. The thunder clashed and the rain fell as the figure took something out of his dark cloak.

(Cues evil theme song)

"You've had her for 5 months now Uchiha! You're time is up and my days of working at Mc Donald's to pay my dept is finally over! MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"KEEP IT DOWN YOU CRAZED STALKER!" said a random neighbor out of his window.

"Stalker? People are such critics these days...now back to my evil plan!" said the mysterious figure.

CLICK

CLICK

BAM!

CLICK

KABOOM!

"Opps..."

"I SAID KEEP IT DOWN! DON'T MAKE ME FEED YE TO THEE PLANT!" yelled the creepy neighbor.

"Mission complete! MU HA HA HA HA!"

"HEY DID YE HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID YE CRAZED LUNATIC STALKER?"

"I'll pretend I didn't..."

* * *

**A/N:** Lol the mysterious guy is serious yet clumsy...I hope you liked it! The mysterious dude will be revealed in the next chapter...dun dun dun dun! Hint: The evil guy is NOT Jin or Naruto (because he didn't cough when he did the evil laugh) you'll be surprised who it is...I think. Thanks again for reading and hopefully reviewing!

**

* * *

**

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos:**

"Err my plan failed again!" yelled the mysterious figure. He started pacing around in the dark alley. ''I guess I'll have to do this in person." The mysterious figure stepped out of the shadows and out appeared...


	7. Welcome back Mysterious dude, revealed!

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time in ****High School**** Of ****Weirdos:**

"Mission complete… MU HA HA HA HA!"

''HEY DID U HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID YOU CRAZED LUNATIC STALKER?'

''I'll pretend I didn't...''

* * *

**"H**i**g**h** S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Outside the Uchiha mansion: **

Sasuke stood at the front of his mansion as he impatiently waited for Sakura to get ready. Finally, the door busted open after what seemed like 10 years...

"Sasu-Sasuke." she said out of breath. ''Sorry it took me so long but I didn't have any clothes to change into so I borrowed yours….''

That got the Uchiha's attention. He abruptly turned around to see Sakura. Her hand was on the doorway for support and a bright smile adorned her lips. To his surprise he found himself smirking at her change of clothes. She looked gorgeous in them.

She wore a white t-shirt with the Uchiha fan insignia that was obviously too big for her with black shorts that hung down to her knees.

Sakura blushed at his intense gaze.

"She looks good with the Uchiha symbol on her" he thought inwardly. "The Uchiha symbol looks good on you." he said, nodding in her direction.

"Thanks" she said. She could feel her cheek burning from embarrassment. It was strange being complimented.

Something exceptionally shiny and silver flashed before his eyes. There was a silver bracelet on her wrist with the words ''I love you Sakura'' engraved with gold. It dangled carelessly as she moved her hand. Sasuke automatically knew it was from. Some random guy.

DUN DUN DUN DUN!

Wait a minute, if she cared for him why would she wear that?

"Sakura who gave that to you?" he asked protectively as he firmly grabbed her wrist. Sakura looked down at the ground to avoid eye-contact and nervously shifted her white sneakers.

"What do you mean Sasuke I bought it myself. she whispered.

Sasuke was furious that she would lie to him." He was about to speak his mid which was full of cruel words but he soon calmed down and released his grip on her wrist. He stared down at her small form and frowned.

"You're lying." he said calmly.

Sakura bit her lip and stared at him straight in the eye. "Give me some time." she said. Sasuke nodded, he respected her decision.

''Whoever this guy is he is not going to get in the way of our relationship.'' he thought arrogantly.

"Come on I'll drive you to school Sakura." he said, as he offered her his hand. Sakura nodded, took his hand, and flashed him a smile.

Sasuke lifted Sakura onto his motorcycle and then he got on.

"Sasuke I don't know if I can do this." she said as she placed his helmet on her head.

"Don't worry just hold on tight" he said. He began driving at a slow pace and then he sped things up. Sakura tighten her hold on him. She then heard a strange squeaking noise from...

THE WHEEL!

She stared at the wheel and noticed it was unstable and the screws that were holding it in place were going to fling out any minute which means...

"We'll crash." she whispered.

Sakura couldn't take it anymore she couldn't someone important to her again. It was too late to stop now they either had to jump or crash...

"What would Shikamaru do?" she thought.

"This is so troublesome...I'm going to go to sleep..." said the Shikamaru in her thought bubble. Sakura sweat dropped. He was defiantly no help now...

Sakura did the next thing that came to her mind...

Jump.

She leaned on the side of the motorcycle and heard some bolts and screws fall on the concret road. The motorcycle screeched she thought...

THIS IS IT!

"Sakura what are you doing?" demanded Sasuke as he glanced back at her. She didn't answer instead she screamed, ''Jump or die!'' Sasuke gave her a concerning gaze and placed one hand on her forehead while the other held the handle loosely.

Sakura took that chance and pulled him down. They both tumbled onto the sidewalk and then...

CRASH!

BASH!

MASH!

CASH?

The motorcycle crashed right into the tree up ahead.

"Why the hell did you do that? Don't tell me you've been hanging around Neji when he's talking about FATE!" said Sasuke staring at Sakura.

He wasn't exactly angry, he trusted Sakura with his life but this was really unexpected... Sakura didn't respond though she just pointed at the motorcycle. Sasuke averted his gaze to where her finger pointed at. At that exact moment the last screw that held the wheel together flung out and the wheel rolled away.

They would have crashed into that tree if they waited a second sooner...

THAT WOULD'VE HURT!

* * *

**In a place with a dumpster: **

"You haven't changed at all Sakura...still as bright as always." whispered the mysterious figure.

He smirked, an evil smirk that was so evil it was the evilest of all smirks...which was evil.

"It is time for plan B!"

* * *

**Outside Konoha High school: **

Both Sakura and Sasuke were injured but if they stayed on that motorcycle for a second longer it would've been worse.

No one was around the area at that time and Sasuke didn't really care about the motorcycle because he was filthy rich.

Sasuke carried Sakura up the school steps bridal style since Sakura's leg was injured during the strange espionage. Sakura tightened her grip on Sasuke's shirt when she noticed some fan girls glaring at her with jealousy, envy or just plain glaring. She was still not use to the glares from Sasuke's fan girls but whenever Sasuke noticed them sending her cold glares he would glare back.

They had about 30 minutes before class begun. Sasuke pushed open the door and entered not knowing what awaited them...

* * *

**Inside Konoha High:**

"Sasuke do you know where the nurse's office is?" asked Sakura, curiously. Sasuke didn't respond so she repeated her question but this time very loudly.

"Of course I do. I own this school after all..." he muttered.

25 minutes later...okay fine, 5 minutes later...

"Sasuke we've been going around in circles and you can put me down..." said Sakura.

"No, I'll find it myself! And I'm not letting you down until I find that damn place." growled Sasuke arrogantly as he pulled her closer.

"Arrogant jerk" muttered Sakura under her breath. Sasuke was too frustrated to hear her and who could blame him?

Suddenly, a sheet of paper came out of no where and slapped right into Sasuke's face.

"That's it you're gonna get the 3 R's," Sasuke yelled at the paper. "Reuse, reduce and recycle!" Sasuke, who was completely losing it, was about to throw the paper into the recycling bin but Sakura grabbed it from him. ''It's a map of the school," said Sakura. "Here follow the directions Sasuke."

He grabbed the paper from her and stared at it. He started walking in a moderate pace with Sakura still in his arms. A snicker could be heard from some far away place.

TROUBLE SENSES TINGLING...

* * *

**Inside mysterious classroom/nurses office: **

He entered the room that was labeled "nurse's office" on the mysterious map but it appeared to be a classroom. "Strange..." said Sasuke.

"Yeah, on this map it says this is the nurse's office." said Sakura, as she grabbed the map from the Uchiha. "I guess you don't know your way around the school too, eh princess?" said Sasuke teasingly.

"Shut up and put me down" she muttered, dryly. "Sure princess" he said sarcastically. As Sasuke was lowering her down the door slammed shut...?

WTF?

* * *

**Outside the mysterious classroom/nurses office: **

''MU HA HA HA HA! You're trapped I locked the door FROM THE OUTSIDE you'll never escape plan B!'' muttered the mysterious dude to himself like a complete psycho-path.

"I'll make sure Uchiha suffocates and...And then..."

PAUSE

"Being evil is tough I can't think of anything to say... Where's my little book of 'How to be an evil maniac' when I need it?" The figure leaned on the outside of the door at glanced at the tiled articulated hallways.

"Well, when Uchiha's gone I'll have Sakura again but Sakura...will you remember me?" he whispered.

* * *

**Inside the classroom: **

"It's locked" muttered Sasuke, as he attempted to twist the door knob.

"I could have sworn I heard someone out there." said Sakura.

Sasuke sighed, "Well Sakura we might as well wait and I'm sure whoever did this is long gone."

She curtly nodded at his statement. But seriously, boy could they be anymore wrong...

Sasuke sighed again, pointed at her silver bracelet and asked, "Sakura, no more excuses will you please tell me who gave you that bracelet?" Sakura's green eyes widened.

The mysterious figure, who was outside the classroom, listened intently as his eyes slightly widened at what he over heard.

"It was from my ex-boyfriend." she responded. "Ex?" asked Sasuke, his voice was filled with jealousy.

"H-he's deceased." she whispered. Sasuke's eyes widened as Sakura, began crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

"I killed him." she whispered. "I couldn't do anything! I just left him there to die I left him...it's all my fault." she cried. Sasuke pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"Sakura can...can you please tell me what happened?" asked Sasuke, gently.

"I was with him on a snowy Christmas night and then these thieves cornered us in an alley. They were after me...I still don't know why. He told me to leave and run but I couldn't so he threatened to kill himself if I didn't. So in the end I left and his body was never found, I could've fought with him then maybe he would still be here, today." whispered Sakura.

She clung onto Sasuke's shirt and cried, her tears soaking his shirt. "Don't leave me Sasuk! Please..." Sasuke closed his eyes and whispered softly, "Don't worry Sakura I'll never leave you...ever" He pulled her close to him and a sad smile crept its way to her lips. "Thank you..." she said.

* * *

**Outside the classroom: **

The figure leaned on the door. He heard the entire story and his lips tugged into a sad smile, also. "If only if you knew Sakura that I am very much alive..." He heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He stood up and disappeared at the last moment leaving no proof that he was even there.

* * *

**Inside the classroom - It's a pattern: **

"Someone's coming" said Sasuke as he pulled away from Sakura. He offered her a hand to stand together they went to the door. They heard a strange loud voice and they sighed in relief.

"NARUTO!" they shouted together. The footsteps turned louder and soon Naruto's voice was audible from the other side of the classroom door. "RAMEN?'' asked Naruto, intently on the other side of the door.

"Sure idiot, there's ramen now open the door." Naruto opened the door in a flash only to see Sakura and Sasuke. He frowned but his frown soon twitched into an awkward smile filled with delight.

"Sakura and someone I don't know!" greeted Naruto cheerfully as he pulled the two scholars into a tight embrace.

"Why do you have so many scratches Sakura?" asked Naruto, as he pulled away. Sakura didn't even get a chance to explain. Creepy music and a lightning background surrounded Naruto who had this angry maniac grin. His left eye was twitching and he punched a fist into his hand. "Don't tell me the desperate ass-hole attacked you!" he snarled.

He gripped the collar of Sasuke's collar in a futile attempt to chock him but Sasuke was too heavy for him to lift. "If I took my medication today I bet I would have been able to lift you, bastard" said Naruto.

"Sure, whatever you say and don't assume I'd even hurt Sakura, because I would never." said Sasuke coolly.

"You'll never get away with this, especially with that lame excuse!" shouted Naruto.

Sasuke sighed at pointed at the vending machine that Naruto failed to notice. "OMG CANDY! GIMME!" screamed Naruto like a child.

Sasuke and Sakura sweat dropped as they watched Naruto idiotically attempt to steal the candy by carving a rectangle on the candy dispenser with a pencil.

* * *

**Dumpster Alley: **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

The man took a deep breath.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

He was silenced by a coughing fit.

"Err my plan failed again!" yelled the mysterious figure. He started pacing around in the dark alley. '''I guess I'll have to do this in person." The mysterious figure stepped out of the shadows and out appeared...

A NUTCASE...

NAMED...

* * *

**After school: **

"Sasuke is it okay if I visit the a-alley whe-where he..." Sasuke interrupted her. "It's okay Sakura, you don't have to ask I'll go with you." said Sasuke with a smirk plastered on his lips.

"Thank you" she said softly, again. She always thought Sasuke was the jealous type, she was right…he was really jealous. "Sakura"

Sakura stopped walking and glanced back. "Yes, Sasuke?" she asked.

"Do you regret meeting me? I mean if he was back would you-" She was right...he was worried and jealous and worried. Sakura pulled him down and kissed him on the lips.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked, giggling at his surprised expression. She began walking again but she was pulled back. She felt Sasuke's lips on her own. She could feel his lips form into a amused smirk. He pulled away and grinned. "Now it does." he responded.

They then continued to the alley.

* * *

**Dumpster Alley: **

"I guess I won't have to look for you after all" the man said as he heard approaching steps.

"We're here." Sakura's voice echoed through-out the alley. "Sakura, who was you're ex?" asked Sasuke. He was getting this strange feeling that they were being watched.

"He was..." Sakura trailed off. They suddenly heard footsteps...Sasuke and Sakura spun around. The mysterious figure stepped out of the shadows and out appeared…

"G-Gaara?" she whispered.

"Nice to meet you again Sakura. You too Uchiha." Gaara muttered. He said the word 'Uchiha' as if it was something disturbing like a drunk Gai and Kakashi in dresses singing karaoke at a bar.

Sakura was speechless. Gaara was alive and he knew Sasuke? The Sabaku turned his attention to her enraged boyfriend.

"Sabaku" said Sasuke.

"Uchiha" muttered Gaara.

What a great reunion...

* * *

**A/N:** Yay the mysterious dude is revealed! What will happen now? How does Gaara know Sasuke? Sakura said she'd choose Sasuke right? Will she change her mind because Gaara's back? I'm asking too much questions...tune in next time!

* * *

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"Who do you choose Sakura?" asked Sasuke. Gaara just stared at her...he hated to see her hurt but he wanted her as much as Sasuke did. ''I'm sorry but I'm going to have to choose..."


	8. Sakura's decision!

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time on High School Of Weirdos: **

"Sabaku" said Sasuke.

"Uchiha" muttered Gaara.

What a great reunion...

* * *

**"****H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f **W**e**i**r**d**o**s****"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z **

**Mysterious alley: **

"So it was you this whole time that TRIED to kill us." Sasuke said.

"Yes, it was me." said Gaara, emotionlessly.

Sasuke suddenly started laughing. Sakura and Gaara glanced at him as if he was mental and had to be sent to a mental institution immediately… which he did…

"Still have short term memory loses, eh? If you want a girl you don't try to kill them!" said Sasuke still laughing. Gaara was so focused on killing Sasuke he forgot Sakura would have been injured too...that's the magic of short term memory loss, or short attention span... it is also what your hapless author has…

"I'm not taking advice from you!" snapped Gaara. "Who do you think you are? The GREAT SHINO THE MATCHMAKER?" continued the man when no one responded.

"Yeah um…how do you know Shino?" asked Sasuke.

SILENCE

"None of your business…" snapped Gaara lamely.

"That was close, he almost figured out I visit the GREAT Shino's website and get advice for two easy payments of $24.99 per month plus tax…" thought Gaara, in utter disbelief.

"Well you should get some advice because you-" Sasuke was cut off by the pink-haired girl's angry scream. Sakura glared at the two men in front of her and took a deep breath.

''WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?'' screamed Sakura. Apparently, the deep breath she had just took did nothing except, cause her more anger.

"Well Sakura it turns out your ex here, was alive this whole time." said Sasuke back in serious mode.

"What are you detective Conan?" asked Gaara, intently.

''What are you talking about?'' whispered Sakura.

"No, are you a relative of Conan? His grandfather, perhaps?" questioned Gaara.

"He's my rival…I've known him for a while now before I transferred to this school" answered Sasuke calmly, as he ignored Gaara's insane interrogation.

Gaara stopped talking about Conan when and responded, "I see you still remember the time I won that school wide basket-ball game against you." He grinned, a sadist grin and continued, "I remember when you tripped over your own shoelace and fell flat on your face! MU HA HA HA HA!"

"Actually, Sabaku that was you..."

PAUSE

"Whatever..." muttered Gaara, lamely once more. "Damn you short term memo lost" thought Gaara, furiously.

"No, this is impossible...your body was never found!" said Sakura, who was still in denial. The drama arouses and so does the music.

"I was never found, because I went looking for you." said Gaara, as he began approaching Sakura, in a moderate pace.

Sasuke stood in his way, a frown was plastered on his lips.

"Hands off Sabaku she's mine." growled Sasuke.

"MU HA HA HA HA... I mean HA HA HA HA HA"

SILENCE

"Sorry, wrong laugh" said Gaara lamely.

"Naw, it's alright start over" said Sasuke.

"Okay, HA HA HA HA HA HA! Why won't you let her speak for herself Uchiha? Scared she'll leave you?" asked Gaara with his maniac-like grin with a hint of happiness, excitement and creepiness.

Sasuke turned to Sakura who was on the ground staring up at the sky confusedly.

Sakura's forest green eyes, diverted from the blue sky to Gaara. "All this time... you were alive… and you didn't even care enough about me? Enough to tell me? To look for me?" asked Sakura.

"I was looking for you this whole time Sakura" protested Gaara.

"How come it took you this long Gaara?" asked Sakura, in a cruel voice. Gaara said nothing but stared deeply into her eyes. "Well?" challenged Sakura.

No response…

"Answer me, Damn it!"

So dramatic…

Gaara winced at her cold voice and gazed at the ground. "I was afraid you've moved on… I was afraid you've forgotten me, I thought you've found someone else and push me away and guess what? I was right!" said Gaara.

"No, that's not true. I never forgot you, Gaara..." Sakura whispered. Sasuke frowned when he heard those words but said nothing. Time seemed to freeze, and after a lot of staring, silence and frowning, Sasuke spoke.

"Who do you choose?" asked Sasuke.

''What?'' asked Sakura. Sakura couldn't see his eyes because of his dark bangs, which were shielding his eyes.

"I..." said Sakura.

Sasuke smirked and said, "If you really love that person, you wouldn't hesitate. Choose the person who's really important to you, Sakura."

PAUSE & SILENCE

DRUM ROLL?

(What? Not yet! Kicks drum away, sorry continue...)

"Well Sakura?" asked Gaara.

"Who do you choose Sakura?" asked Sasuke. Gaara just stared at her...he hated to see her hurt but he wanted her as much as Sasuke did. ''I'm sorry but I'm going to have to choose..."

DRUM ROLL

"Stop..." said Gaara.

SILENCE

"What's wrong Gaara?" asked Sakura, her voice filled with concern.

"Its time I told you something..." said Gaara.

"Something?" asked Sakura and Sasuke.

"I left you alone this whole time and you suffered because of me" said Gaara.

Sakura shook her head, confused at his point. "What are you saying Gaara?" asked Sakura.

"M-maybe it's time to move on." whispered Gaara. Sasuke's eyes widened.

"You...you don't mean...are you serious, or suffering from a powerful hang-over?'' demanded Sasuke.

"I'm dead serious. Plus, If I was suffering from a powerful hang-over which I am not, I'd be singing the alphabet back-wards" responded Gaara.

He turned to Sakura.

"I'll never forget you Sakura." said Gaara.

"Gaara..." started Sakura, shakily.

"I'll still be here for you, when you need me...not like before..." said Gaara.

"But..." Sakura started but Gaara interrupted her again.

"Will you do one last thing for me Sakura?" asked Gaara. Sakura nodded. "Anything." She breathed.

"Please smile...for me...one last time'" She nodded and she smiled for him, a true smile. Gaara gave her one last embrace then turned to leave. As he was walking out of the alley he stopped beside Sasuke.

"Take care of her or ELSE I'll make sure she won't be yours anymore Uchiha." muttered Gaara, in a tone low enough for only Sasuke to hear. He then exited the alley, without sparing a single glance back.

His footsteps disintegrated until they could hear no more... "You won't have to worry about that, Sabaku." said Sasuke after he left.

There was total silence...

''Let's go Sakura." Sasuke said, followed by an inaudible sighed.

Sakura nodded and they exited the alley...

* * *

**Sakura's house (outside): **

"Sasuke, I'm really sor-" began Sakura.

"I don't mind Sakura." said Sasuke, interrupting the girl beside him. He stopped walking as they approached her house. Sasuke turned around to face her.

"To be honest, I hate the fact that you were once someone else's but now your mine." He said.

He leaned down and captured her lips in a chaste light kiss. "I'll always love you Sakura, remember that, alright?"

"And I'll always love you." she responded. Sakura entered her house and collapsed onto her couch. "I hope what you said was true Sasuke because we're going to have lots of things threatening our relationship..."

* * *

**Sasuke's house: **

BEEP! Sasuke looked at his cell phone... "A text message from the idiot?" THE FOLLOWING IS SASUKE'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM NARUTO:

**Hey bastard what's up? The ceiling is! **

**HA HA I'M SO FUNNY! SERIOUSLY! **

**Anyways we're having a MEGA CHAT today so get your butt ( which will never be as good as mine) off wherever you're sitting on ( which is probably not as good as what I'm sitting on ) and get on your computer! **

**We'll CHAT CHAT and CHAT some more until um...until I win the ramen lottery which Neji will help me with! **

**Did I tell you Sakura will be online? **

**She told me that she would rather date me then you because of my great butt and ramen knowledge so yeah just wanted you to know that I AM ONE COOL DUDE...DO YOU HAVE ANY CANDY? **

**I like candy...I also like...OMG I G2G RAMEN IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD! **

**NOW GO ONLINE...OR ELSE THE RAMEN WILL COME AFTER YOU...AHH...AHH...AHH! **

**NO NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE... **

**From someone who is way better than you: Naruto **

Sasuke sighed when he finished reading the message. If ramen was taking over the world and attacking him how did he have time to give him the details?

ONE OF THE WORLDS GREATEST MYSTERIES...

UZUMAKI NARUTO

* * *

**Sakura's house: **

BEEP! Sakura looked at her cell phone...

"A text message from Naruto?" thought Sakura. THE FOLLOWING IS SAKURA'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM NARUTO:

**Hey Sakura! We're having a MEGA CHAT today right here. Right now! **

**Lazy-ass, bastard, Hinata, Ino, Neji, Tenten and I the Great Uzumaki Naruto will be there! **

**Hope you can make it and the Sasuke told me to tell you he wants you to bear his children like that perverted guy in Inu-yasha. **

**You're probably wondering how I'm going to afford the bill for sending all of theses text messages right? **

**Well, I charged all of this on the Sasuke's credit card so I won't have to pay! **

**I AM ONE SMART GUY EH? MU HA HA HA HA HA! COUGH! AHHHHH!** **SORRY I HAVE TO GO THE BASTARD IS HERE! **

**NOOOOOOOOO SASUKE I WAS NICE TO YOU! NICE TO YOU! **

**From: Naruto **

Sakura was really confused and amazed that he could send her a text message while being attacked...

* * *

**Shikamaru's house: **

BEEP!

Shikamaru didn't look at his cell phone...

BEEP!

He still didn't look at it...

BEEP!

Still not looking at it...

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"This is so troublesome why me!" cried Shikamaru. THE FOLLOWING IS SHIKAMARU'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM NARUTO:

**Hey lazy guy I don't want to know! **

**Since you're too lazy to read this I'll make it brief. **

**We're having a MEGA CHAT today! If you think this is troublesome think of how Ino will be there too! **

**I know you like her! **

**DON'T LIE YOU DO! **

**You're probably wondering how I know this right. **

**Well, when I stole Sakura's Halloween candy and then ran to your house to steal ramen I noticed this ugly notebook thingy. **

**I opened it and there was your SECRET JOURNAL! MU HA HA HA HA HA! COUGH! CHOKE! **

**Who knew you didn't think it was troublesome to write? **

**I started reading it then I started ripping the papers and folding paper airplanes! **

**Don't worry I kept you're hard work there I just used 99 pages in your 99 paged notebook! **

**So go online think of Ino and remember I'm the RAMEN THIEF! **

**I also have an evil theme song! Download it for $3.99 plus tax! **

**From: Naruto **

"How troublesome I actually read that all...he calls that brief?" thought Shikamaru.

* * *

**Ino's house: **

BEEP!

Ino looked at her cell phone...

"A text message from a NARUTO?'' thought Ino.

THE FOLLOWING IS INO'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM A NARUTO:

**Hey Ino-chan! **

**I'm a really hot guy so go online! **

**We're having a MEGA CHAT and I know you like Shikamaru so go online he'll be there BELIEVE IT! **

**Did you hear the new song Ramen Ramen by Ramen boys? **

**It's a great song you should totally listen to it! **

**They also made a song called Ramen we're going down! **

**RAMEN BOYS ROCK AND SO DO I! **

**From: Naruto **

"Ramen boys?'' thought Ino.

* * *

**Tenten's house: **

BEEP!

Tenten looked at her cell phone... "NARUTO?" thought Tenten. THE FOLLOWING IS TENTEN'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM A NARUTO:

**Hey Tenten-chan go online OR ELSE! **

**We're having a MEGA CHAT OR ELSE! **

**Don't hurt me for threatening you...OR ELSE! **

**OR ELSE WHAT you might be thinking right? **

**Well, for one thing I'll send my ramen after you MU HA HA HA HA! **

**COUGH! COUGH! **

**Remember I rock...OR ELSE! **

**From: Naruto **

**

* * *

**

**Neji's house: **

BEEP! Neji looked at his cell phone...

"I knew this would happen because it is FATE!" thought Neji. THE FOLLOWING IS NEJI'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM NARUTO:

**Hey Neji what's happening? **

**How's life? How's FATE? How's the future? **

**We're having a MEGA CHAT today right now but you already know that because it's FATE but I'm just reminding you! **

**Also, since you can see the future can you tell me who'll win the Ramen lottery? **

**I bet I'll win because I bought all 200 tickets! **

**IM SO BAD-ASS! **

**MU HA HA HA HA HA! COUGH! **

**SHOCK! **

**What there are actually 1000 tickets? **

**MUST GO BUY THE OTHER 800 TICKETS IT'S MY FATE! **

**From: Naruto **

"How did that idiot find out there was actually 1000 tickets?" thought Neji.

* * *

**Hinata's house: **

BEEP!Hinata looked at her cell phone...

"A text message from Naruto?" thought Hinata.THE FOLLOWING IS HINATA'S TEXT MESSAGE FROM NARUTO:

**Hey Hinata! **

**We're going to have a MEGA CHAT! **

**Everyone's going to be there you HAVE to come! **

**It's starting now! **

**I also sent you a CD of Ramen boys! **

**There's also a surprise! **

**Hope you like it! **

**From: Naruto (a.k.a ramen thief) **

**

* * *

**

**Naruto's house: **

Naruto placed his original soundtrack into the CD player...

NARUTO'S EVIL THEME SONG BEGAN TO PLAY...

"MU HA HA HA HA! COUGH! COUGH!"

"MU HA HA HA HA! CHOKE! CHOKE!"

"COUGH! COUGH! LET THE CHATING AND RAMEN BEGIN!"

Naruto then looked at his computer screen and fainted... What he saw no one will ever be able to discover...

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked this chapter...in the next chapter I'll make sure they'll be Neji/Ten and Shika/Ino! Ha ha guess who George is for fun… please review. xD

* * *

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

This is troublesome...has signed in

It is your FATE! Deal with it. has signed in

Ramen Thief has signed in

Weapon master has signed in

I love BAD-ASS guys has signed in

Your fallen angel. has signed in

Hinata Hyuuga has signed in

Avenger. Gaara is a loser. has signed in

George has signed in

GEORGE?


	9. Chatroom of weirdos

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time on High School Of Weirdos: **

"COUGH! COUGH! LET THE CHATING AND RAMEN BEGIN!"

Naruto then looked at his computer screen and fainted... What he saw no one will ever be able to discover...

* * *

**''H**i**g**h** S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s''  
**B**y**:**L**i**m**e**Q**u**ar**t**z**

**Attention: **Some words are not typos for examples: four is 4 and "what" will be spelt as "wat" in this chapter so please don't think these are typos. Also further into the conversation Sasuke will change his display name into SasukeS2Sakura. S2 is a heart if you didn't know. It took me a while to recognize it…

**The following takes place online:**

This is troublesome...has signed in

It is your FATE! has signed in

Ramen Thief has signed in

Weapon master has signed in

I love BAD-ASS guys has signed in

Your fallen angel. has signed in

Hinata Hyuuga has signed in

Avenger. Gaara is a loser. has signed in

George has signed in

GEORGE?

* * *

**This is troublesome...has been added to the convo**

**It is your FATE! has been added to the chat room**

**Weapon master has been added to the chat room**

**I love BAD-ASS guys has been added to the chat room**

**Your fallen angel. has been added to the chat room**

**Hinata Hyuuga has been added to the chat room**

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. has been added to the chat room**

**George has been added to the chat room **

**

* * *

**

**Ramen Thief says:** Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy guys!

**George:** H-E-Y! B-U-D-D-Y!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** who in the right mind invited you?

**George says:** ...

**George says:** Uhhhhh…. Ummmmmmm… Duhhhh…

**George says:** G-2-G!

**George has left the chat room **

**Your fallen angel. says:** Hey who's George?

**Weapon master says:** He's probably that random shoe guy in our class... you know…

**Your fallen angel. says:** No, I don't know…

**Weapon master says:** ……

**Ramen Thief: **That was him? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I missed my chance...

**It is your FATE! says:** Chance for what?

**Ramen Thief:** I thought u could predict the future Neji! I WANT REVENGE! MU HA HA HA HA! COUGH! COUGH!

**It is your FATE:** I KNEW THAT!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** You do know you don't have to type the –cough- when you are attempting to do the evil laugh, right?

**Ramen Thief:** ...maybe… maybe not! You shall never know!

**This is so troublesome... says : **This is so troublesome... I could be finding a cure for cancer at this very moment but NO. Incompetent, troublesome, people…

**I love BAD-ASS boys says:** Hey Shika-kun ur actually on! I thought u wouldn't come! Considering ur so lazy…

**This is so troublesome… says:** I'm not that lazy woman! Hmmm… that is awkward.

**Ramen Thief says:** Yeah sure we believe u...

**I love BAD-ASS boys says: **Wat is awkward?

**This is so troublesome… says: **You spelt "you're" as "ur" and "what" as "wat"… you're grammar is terrible…

**I love BAD-ASS boys says: **Wait wat? You're not Shika-kun! Imposter! Wat did ya do with the real Shikamaru ASUMA-SENSEI?

**This is so troublesome… says:** I'm not Asuma and it is true. Your grammar is preposterous…

**I love BAD-ASS boys says: **preposterous? Such a long word. Yep. That's Shikamaru.

**This is so troublesome... says: **…..

**Ramen Thief says: **Back to wat we were talking about! Shikamaru you are lazy…

**I love BAD-ASS boys says: **-Dramatic gasp-

**This is so troublesome... says: **LIAR! I am not lazy…

**Weapon master says:** Yeah that's why you wouldn't even move when I threw a snowball at ur face in grade 6...

**This is so troublesome says:** ...no comment

**Ramen Thief: **Yeah! Tenten! Give me 5!

**Weapon master:** Yeah, um, that's kinda hard considering the fact that we're online...

**Ramen Thief: **Oh yeah... wait! We're online?

**Hinata Hyuuga:** Naruto why does the CD package you sent me have a ring? In the envelope? My parents are scolding me…

**Ramen Thief: **I wanted to propose to u... Hinata will u OFFICIALLY be my girlfriend?

**It is your FATE! says:** HOW DARE U PROPOSE TO HINATA? THIS IS NOT UR FATE!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says: **smooth Hyuuga, very smooth

**It is your FATE! says:** I WILL STRANGLE U NARUTO! I WILL STRANGLE U!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says: **Yes, Hyuuga, very smooth indeed...

**It is your FATE! says:** AND THEN I'LL EAT ALL OF YOUR SECRET RAMEN STASH NARUTO!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says: **I've suddenly lost all of my respect for you, Hyuuga

**Ramen Thief says: **I suddenly lost all of my respect 4 u 2 Neji...

10 silent minutes later...

**Hinata Hyuuga:** Naruto, ummm isn't this a little strange since we're online?

**Ramen Thief say:** Not at all! We're online?

**It is your FATE: **AHA! YOU'VE FINALLY COME BACK! LIKE I WAS SAYING I'M GOING TO EAT ALL OF UR RAMEN IN FRONT OF YOU AND THEN...

**Weapon master says:** AND THEN?

**This is so troublesome... says:** ...Horrible grammar…

**I love BAD-ASS boys says: **WELL?

**It is your FATE! says:** AND THEN...

**Your fallen angel:** Spit it out already!

**This is so troublesome... says:** Is that your catch phrase or something, woman?

**Your fallen angel. says: **Shut up… I only said "spit it out already" twice… Once in chapter 2 and once now…

**Weapon master:** Both of ya shut the fuck up…

**This is so troublesome... says: **Such horrible language…

**Weapon master says:** So wats gonna happen after you eat all of Naruto's ramen, Neji?

5 minutes later...

**Weapon master says:** WELL! NEJI?

**It is your FATE! says:** Sorry went to get some ice-cream...

**Your fallen angel. says:** Okay...so what's going happen?

**It is your FATE! says:** I dunno...I guess something evil will happen...

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** Did you have to make it so dramatic?

**It is your FATE! says:** What? It's FATE...

* * *

**SHINO THE MATCHMAKER has been added to the chat room**

**Kiba & Aka has been added to the chat room**

**Konoha's GREEN BEAST has been added to the chat room**

**FABULOUS has been added to the chat room**

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… has been added to the chat room**

**The urge to kill someone is… I'll kill you Orochibaru! has been added to the chat room**

**PROUD to be perverted / It's in my genes has been added to the chat room**

**Mystery… I am never wrong! has been added to the chat room**

**Half-demon... not! has been added to the chat room**

**

* * *

**

**Your fallen angel. says:** Naruto u idiot u should have told us u were inviting… the principal?

**Ramen Thief says:** They hacked into this convo Sakura!

**The urge to kill someone is… I'll kill you Orochibaru! says: **Is that idiot, Orochibaru in here?

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… says: **NO HE ISN'T!

**PROUD to be perverted / It's in my genes says:** Man, Orochimaru, do you seriously have to make it so obvious...

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… says: **JIRAIYA, YOU OLD PRICK, SHUT UP!

**The urge to kill someone is… I'll kill you Orochibaru! says: **I knew you were here, now hand over your credit card.

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… says: **PFFF why does this fiction even have credit cards? It's not in the show and it's unauthentic!

**The urge to kill someone is… I'll kill you Orochibaru! says: **Because the author wills so! Now, give me the code and card.

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… says**: Why don't you ask the old man?

**PROUD to be perverted / It's in my genes has left the chat room **

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… says**: Smart-ass...well off to another, random convo…

**Orochimaru. Tsunade, you spelt my name wrong… has left the chat room **

**The urge to kill someone is… I'll kill you Orochibaru! says: **Smart-asses...

**The urge to kill someone is… I'll kill you Orochibaru! has left the chartroom **

**Your fallen angel. says:** Okay, that was weird...

**Half-demon... not! says: **Hey! Losers! Have you guys seen a shard of the Shikon jewel?

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** First of all there's no Shikon whatever here, secondly you shouldn't have a computer and lastly, you are in the wrong show...

**Half-demon... not! says: **I knew that...

**Mystery… I am never wrong! says: **I don't think so! From the clues I've acquired you are in fact in the wrong show and u are in that SOMEONE'S house using that SOMEONE'S computer!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** I just said that, idiot...

**Mystery… I am never wrong! says: **...I said it in a more intelligent way so HA.

**Half-demon…not! says: **BUSTED!

**Half-demon... not! has left the chat room**

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** You know you're also in the wrong show/fanfiction, right?

**Mystery… I am never wrong! says:** I, Jimmy Kudo, am NEVER wrong I mean...I, Conan Edogawa am NEVER wrong!

**Avenger. :** First time for everything now go back to your own fandom a.k.a category...

**Mystery… I am never wrong! says:** I should have went into Yugi's chat room...he has the heart of the cards!

**Mystery… I am never wrong! has left the chat room**

**Ramen Thief says:** heart of the tards?

**It is your FATE! says:** heart of the cards…

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser says:** You're a retard...

**Ramen Thief say:** thanks!

SILENCE...

* * *

10 MINS LATER... 

**SHINO THE MATCHMAKER:** Naruto where's my 2 easy payments of $24.99 per month plus tax?

**Ramen Thief says:** I DEMAND A REFUND! THAT RING ATTACH TO THE CD PLAN DIDN'T WORK!

**It is your FATE! says:** Because I willed it!

**SHINO THE MATCHMAKER sas:** The SHINO THE MATCHMAKER company clearly states no REFUNDS and NO EXCHANGES!

**Ramen Thief says:** How do u exchange and refund advices anyways? Plus there's no fine print to read!

**SHINO THE MATCHMAKER says:** Exactly! It's fool-proof.

**Kiba & Aka says:** Don't mind Shino… he's just acting like Shino right now...

**Konoha's GREEN BEAST says:** Sakura will u do me the honour of going on a date with me?

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** She's taken

**Your fallen angel. says:** Sasuke don't be rude! Of course I'd love to Lee…

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** She doesn't know what she's talking about...she's taken…

**Konoha's GREEN BEAST says:** Thank you Sakura!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** Don't make me go OOC.

**SHINO THE MATCHMAKER:** I might be able to solve this love triangle with two easy payments of $24.99 per month plus tax!

**Weapon master says:** Yeah, Shino now's not a good time...

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says:** Sorry, Bushy brows, she won't be able to go out with you since she's I don't know… T-A-K-E-N? Wait let me get a thesaurus. She's unavailable, claimed, taken, owned, etc.

**Your fallen angel. says:** You jerk! I'd love to go out with you Lee!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says: **Sakura, do you want me to go over there and KNOCK some sense back into you?

**Ramen Thief: **O.O...u guys did IT? Man, keep it 2 urselves!

**Pink-haired angel: **NO WE NEVER DID IT!

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says: **yet...

**Ramen Thief:** ...I always knew you were a closet pervert that read porn when he wasn't at school…

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser.** **says:** …..

**Your fallen angel. says:** As much as I'd like to know what Naruto is talking about, I'd have to say, we haven't done it.

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser. says: **yet...

**Your fallen angel. says:** Whatever... anyways Lee would you still like to hang out?

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser.** **says:** …..

**Avenger. Gaara is a loser.** **has changed his/her name to SasukeS2Sakura **

**SasukeS2Sakura says:** Yea like I was saying we're going out Lee as u can tell by my display name…

**Konoha's GREEN BEAST says:** NO! I AM TOO LATE? 2 LATE! THIS WILL NOT ENHANCE THE YOUTHHHHHHHHHH! UGHH STUPID DUB! THIS PHRASE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

**Konoha's GREEN BEAST has left the chat room**

**SasukeS2Sakura** **says:** What a loser, he listens to my screen name but not me?

**Your fallen angel. says: **Sasuke you made him leave! It was just one minor date…

**SasukeS2Sakura says:** I don't like him, okay?

**Kiba & Aka says:** Hey who's this "FABULOUS"' person?

**FABULOUS says: **So now you notice me! (Pulls out meter stick out of no where and slams it on my computer) It is I, your fabulous teacher, KAKASHI! Did you maggots, do your homework?

* * *

**Kiba & Aka has left the chat room**

**This is troublesome... has left the chat room**

**It is your FATE! has left the chat room**

**Ramen Thief has left the chat room **

**Weapon master has left the chat room**

**I love BAD-ASS guys has left the chat room**

**Your fallen angel. has left the chat room**

**Hinata Hyuuga has left the chat room**

**SasukeS2Sakura has left the chat room**

**FABULOUS:** Why does this always, happen?

**SHINO THE MATCH MAKER:** I may be able to answer your question for two easy payments of $24.99 per month plus tax...

* * *

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"You made it Neji..." said Shino.

Neji merely nodded astounded that THE yes, THE GREAT SHINO was in front of him.

"Do you have the goods?" asked Shino, quietly. Neji nodded again as he reached into his pockets and handed IT to Shino.

"FINALLY..." said Shino he then smirked victoriously as his dark non-transparent glasses flashed.

He grinned as he stared at IT.


	10. Shino the matchmaker Pt I

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time on High School Of Weirdos: **

**FABULOUS:** Why does this always, happen?

**SHINO THE MATCH MAKER:** I may be able to answer your question for two easy payments of $24.99 per month plus tax...

**

* * *

**

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"**  
**B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Konoha High School:**

Neji paced slowly around the school grounds. He was nervous...Very nervous... So nervous, that it was unexplainable…

If you looked in a dictionary and looked under the definition of "nervous" you would see a picture of Neji, looking nervous...

Neji started pacing in a moderate pace in circles.

"Must not bite nails due to nervousness! It's un-hygienic!" thought Neji.

He stopped when he heard some footsteps.

He looked up to see...

THE GREAT SHINO!

"You made it Neji..." said Shino.

Neji merely nodded astounded that THE yes, THE GREAT SHINO was in front of him.

"Do you have the goods?" asked Shino, quietly. Neji nodded again as he reached into his pockets and handed IT to Shino.

"FINALLY..." said Shino he then smirked victoriously as his dark non-transparent glasses flashed.

He grinned as he stared at IT.

What is IT you might ask?

IT is actually the 2 payments of $24.99 plus tax Shino had been waiting for...a very long time.

"Shino the matchmaker I need your love advice... because it is DESTINY!" Neji whispered, but he screamed, the "DESTINY" part.

Shino lifted a brow curiously

"What happened to the FATE thing?" asked Shino, concerningly.

"I don't know it's getting annoying..." said Neji.

"Exactly!" said Shino, giving Neji a thumbs up.

SILENCE...

Shino suddenly started laughing like a maniac.

"Great Shino the matchmaker...why are you laughing like a creepy person, I don't want to know?" asked Neji, completely horrified.

"Well, it's just that you changed from fate to destiny and who knows, your next word might be TACO," laughed Shino.

"I like Tacos..." muttered Neji.

Shino shrugged the comment off but he added a silent, "I prefer waffles..."

"Excellent...now that I have IT I can start you teaching you some advice...now, who is the person you want me to give you advice for?" asked Shino curiously.

"Tenten" whispered Neji, quietly, since he was paranoid.

"The weapon master?" screamed Shino, in surprise.

Neji curtly nodded.

"Ahem...I'm afraid I won't be able to help you Neji." said Shino, as he began coughing.

"It seems my advices won't be able to help him..." thought Shino, in despair.

SHINO'S 3 WAYS TO BEING SUCCESSFUL:

1. Bribe the person who your client wants you to help give advice for

2. Tell him/her to keep it a secret from your client (pay them extra to be safe but don't give them your whole profit because then it would be all for nothing!)

3. Your client is happy and oblivious, you and a stranger your client has a crush on are rich!

Those are the 3 steps to Shino's success...

BRIBING PEOPLE

Shino prefers to call it persuading though...

"Why can't you help me Great Shino?" asked Neji, perplexed.

"Because she'll beat me to a bloody-pulp and I'll be forced to transfer to 'Inu-yasha' …" thought Shino.

Shino looked at Neji and felt some guilt...

"Okay Neji I shall help you by becoming your TEACHER!" said Shino, punching a fist into the air.

Neji watched in awe as fireworks came out of no where.

"How does he do that?" thought Neji curiously.

"Let us begin my student!" said Shino.

**

* * *

**

**In class:**

"Hey Hyuuga, when are you going to settle down and get yourself a girlfriend?" asked Sasuke, smirking, as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend, Sakura.

"Wow! Now I'm a tool to make, someone jealous?" asked Sakura, annoyed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"No…" said Sasuke, lamely.

Sakura rolled her eyes unconvinced. She thought Sasuke wouldn't notice but he did. He chuckled amused at her actions and leaned down to kiss her. She complied and kissed him back passionately. Sakura wrapped both arms around his neck deepening the kiss

Neji was no pervert so he left the couple alone.

He moved to the other side of the classroom avoiding Sasuke and Sakura who were making out now…

Neji decided to wait until Tenten arrived so he could try the advice The Great Shino gave him. He looked for the blond weirdo...Naruto! He would raise his self-esteem! I mean, it's not like Naruto would be kissing someone right?

WRONG!

Neji's eyes widened as he saw his cousin, Hinata kissing Naruto!

WTF?

Neji was going to go into protective hey-who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are-making-me-jealous-and-I-don't-want-to be-related-to-you-mode.

He never got an opportunity because the door flew open and there was Tenten.

"Hi Tenten" said Neji.

"Hi" she responded, smiling.

Tenten sat down and Neji took the seat beside her.

"So Tenten...did you ever think of having a boyfriend?" asked Neji, casually.

Tenten stared at him in shock.

"Yes" she replied.

"Well me to..." said Neji.

"You thought about having a BOYFRIEND?" screamed Tenten, jumping out of her seat.

"NO, I MEANT GIRLFRIEND!" shouted Neji, slightly embarrassed.

"Okay..." said Tenten, as she sighed in relief.

"Think what the Great Shino taught you, Neji!" he thought.

"So Tenten do you want to...you know hang out sometime?" asked Neji.

"Are you asking me out?" asked Tenten.

"NO! I MEAN YES! I MEAN...MAYBE?" said Neji, unsure and confused.

"I thought you'd never ask" said Tenten, surprised.

"You mean...you like me too?'' asked Neji.

"Yeah, I liked you ever since grade 7" whispered Tenten, shyly.

"Well I like you since grade 6'" whispered Neji.

They leaned closer, and closer until their lips met.

FLASH!

They both pulled away to see Kakashi with a camera. He was grinning behind his mask. "Hm...I wonder if I can sell this on E-BAY…" thought Kakashi.

He looked up to see two very angry teenagers.

"Should I start running now?" asked Kakashi, scratching the back of his head nervously.

He never got a chance...

**

* * *

**

**Some random mysterious place:**

The happy/sad/proud Naruto song started to play...

Shino stared at his student from a distance as he started crying…

"I'm so proud of you Neji! You've done well!" thought Shino, as he looked through his binoculars in a mysterious place.

"Well you did well thanks to my great teachings of course! SHINO ALWAYS PREVAILS GARANTEED!" he screamed.

A rock flew through Shino's window and hit his head.

Shino then fell off his desk...

Yes, the mysterious place was his room...

"Ow! What was that? A meteor?" asked Shino, rubbing the spot on his head where the rock came into contact.

"Go to school Shino or I'll be forced to bring the hamster over there!" yelled Shino's neighbour.

"NO! NOT THE HAMSTER!" screamed Shino, in fear.

He quickly dashed out of his house...

"Its okay Mr. Hamster I'm sure Shino didn't mean it" said Shino's neighbour, petting the hamster, while reassuring it that it's not creepy.

"ACK! NOT THE HAMSTER!" Shino screamed, when he heard the word "HAMSTER" again.

Shino then ran towards the school in a mental manner...

**

* * *

**

**Tsunade's office: **

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

"Enter" said Tsunade, without even glancing at the door.

A young teen in a wheelchair entered the classroom.

"What do you want?" asked Tsunade, still glancing at her papers.

"I demand Uchiha Sasuke should be expelled from this school!"

"Why should he? He's a really important supplier for this school" said Tsunade, staring at the speaker.

"Its not like he owns this school and look at all of these injuries he caused me! I'll never be able to walk again!" cried Jin dramatically.

Tsunade lifted a confused brow.

"First of all Sasuke does own this school, second of all you're a drama queen and third of all you're standing." said Tsunade.

Jin was so angry he didn't even realize he stood up from his wheelchair.

He sat back down on his wheelchair embarrassed.

"Hmph I won't tolerate that wannabe actor in our school" yelled Jin.

"Are sure you're not describing yourself?" asked Tsunade. All of a sudden, as if on cue the school's drama club busted into the office.

"YOU!" screamed George's girlfriend a.k.a Sasuke's ex-fan girl.

"Excuse us Principal Tsunade, but this boy has stolen our wheelchair for the play" said a random girl in the drama club.

"Can we take him off your hands?" asked a guy in the drama club, punching a fist into his hand.

"Of course please take him off my hands" said Tsunade.

"Wha...what," stuttered Jin.

THE FOLLOWING IS CENSORED DUE TO EXTREME VIOLENCE...

After beating Jin up brutally and after laughing maniacally-like the drama club left the office with the star of their show…

The wheelchair!

"I'll be leaving..." said Jin as he limped out of the office only to have the door open and hit his face. Shizune, Tsunade's niece and assistance entered the office only to step on Jin's unconscious form.

"EEK!" yelled Shizune, in horror.

Tsunade sighed.

"Its nothing Shizune he just fainted because you slammed the door in his face," said Tsunade, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I'm so sorry Tsunade!'' yelled Shizune apologetically as she started trying to kick Jin awake.

"No thank you, for getting that girly drama queen out of the way! So what were you going to tell me Shizune?'' asked Tsunade.

"You have visitors! They say they're your favorite friends ever...I think they're here for IT" whispered Shizune.

Tsunade's eyes flashed dangerously as a smirk crawled its way to her lips.

"Are you sure it's THEM?" asked Tsunade.

"Positive! The perverted white-haired man and the semi-perverted evil/strange/mental snake loving freakazoid it has to be THEM!" screamed Shizune flailing her arms in the air frantically.

"Orochimaru and Jiraiya its time for our annual strip-poker night and this time I won't lose!" yelled Tsunade.

"Tsunade, are you sure you'll win?" asked Shizune. "They win every year…" she thought inwardly.

"Don't worry I have a despicable plan" cheered Tsunade.

"What is it?" asked Shizune, curiously.

"I'll wear so many clothes I can't lose!" Shizune sweat dropped as Tsunade started laughing and after that chocking...

Shizune started stepping back quietly

"Ha ha I think it's time for your medication...I mean I'll leave now!" said Shizune. She then dragged Jin out of Tsunade's office and stuffed him into the janitor's closet.

Shizune started whistling innocently and walked away like nothing happened.

"Hey go find you're own wizard free zone you creep!" screamed Naruto in the janitor's closet.

He kicked Jin out of the closet...

and well...

Let's just say Jin got swept away literally by their janitor Kankuro!

"That's me" said Kankuro, proudly pointing at his name tag which spelt Oruknak.

"Kankuro you're name tags on backwards," shouted Gai-sensei, out of no where.

"I like being Oruknak," complained Kankuro.

"THATS IT YOU'RE FIRED!" shouted Gai-sensei.

Kankuro dropped the mop in shame and he started walking away.

"At least I can still work on ''Naruto'' as a cool BAD-ASS puppeteer" muttered Kankuro.

"MU HA HA HA HA! Now I will be the janitor!" screamed Gai-sensei as he countinued to sweep Jin away...

**

* * *

**

**Konoha Leaf High School (hallway): **

Sakura was walking down the hallway to her next class when two strong arms wrapped around her waist pulling her back. She turned around to come face-to-face with Sasuke, as usual.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"To class where else?" she asked as she pulled away from his embrace and started walking again.

She was suddenly pinned to the wall.

"I don't think so Sa-ku-ra" he breathed.

His warm breath caressed her neck

"Oh really? Why not?" she challenged.

"Because you didn't give me a kiss yet all day yet..." he said.

He closed his eyes and leaned down only to have his lips meet the cold brick wall. He turned to the side only to meet a laughing Sakura.

She moved at the last minute...

"Ha ha!" she laughed at him.

"You think this is funny?" he growled.

Before she could answer he attacked her lips. Sakura sent out a surprised yelp making Sasuke smirk against her lips. The bell rang and Sakura pushed him away. She frowned.

"You made me late!" whined Sakura.

"I'm late too..." he muttered.

Sakura sent him a glare. He smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"At least we're late together" said Sasuke as he pulled her close to him.

"Yeah...together" she whispered.

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Next chapter is drama! Will Ino leave everyone behind? Or will Shikamaru stop her? Tune in next time to see Shino work his magic for Shikamaru! Then again he didn't really do anything for Neji...

**

* * *

**

**Next time on High School Of Weirdos: **

PAUSE...

"Oh..." they replied

SILENCE...

"WHAT!" they screamed


	11. Shino the matchmaker Pt II

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time on High School Of Weirdos: **

''At least we're late together'' said Sasuke as he pulled her close to him.

''Yeah...together'' she whispered.

* * *

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"**  
**B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Shino the matchmaker's headquarters:**

"Aww Shino! Why does your secret hiding place to be all smelly?" whined Naruto.

"Elementary Naruto, the boys change room is so smelly no one will come!" said Shino, proudly.

"Well you got the smelly part right!" snapped Sasuke.

"So, who am I suppose to give my excellent, wonderful, words-can't-explain advice to?" asked Shino.

"Me... How troublesome," replied Shikamaru.

Suddenly, the door to the boys change room busted open. Standing at the doorway was Sakura, who appeared as if she was about to collapse, due to exhaustion.

"Shikamaru! Ino's leaving for Suna tonight!"

SILENCE...

"Ino, who?" asked Chouji.

A vein appeared on Sakura's head...

"OUR INO! YAMANAKA INO!" she screamed.

PAUSE...

"Oh..." they replied

SILENCE...

"WHAT!" they screamed

Sakura shook her head in disbelief and answered, "Ino's moving back to Suna with her relatives…"

"She has relatives there? I thought her relatives would be at the doctors." said Sasuke.

"Why would her relatives be there?" asked Sakura, thoughtfully.

"Because they're deaf from her shrieking, of course." muttered Sasuke, as if it were the most obvious thing on planet Earth.

Naruto suddenly fell on the floor and started laughing.

"What's so funny? Don't tell me Sasuke was ACTUALLY funny! Wait a minute! What have you done to Naruto! He would never laugh at something so lame!" accused Shino.

"What are you talking about? I am Naruto!"

"Liar!" screamed Shino, pulling out a pointy, sharpened pencil.

"AHHHHHHHHH! No! I just had a funny thought about the 'relative' thing! I would NEVER laugh at Sasuke's lame jokes!" said Naruto, cowering behind Sakura.

"Okay, so what was the funny thought?" asked Shino, putting away the pencil.

"Ha ha! It's just that...wouldn't it be funny if Gaara was her cousin or something?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah... how do you know Gaara?" asked Sakura.

"I stole candy from his house once!" said Naruto, proudly.

"In other words you begged him, didn't you?" asked Sakura.

"Maybe..." said Naruto sheepishly.

"Shikamaru you have to stop her. She might stay there... FOREVER!" said Sakura.

"Dun dun dun dun!" said Kankuro, dramatically out of no where.

The gang turned there heads to Kankuro, who was leaning on the doorway.

"What are you doing here? This is a secret meeting. Can't you read the humongous sign on the door?" demanded Sasuke.

"Yeah… I saw it… but I can keep a secret! As for why I'm here, I don't know. I just got fired by this creepy guy..." said Kankuro, shrugging.

"Can you be more specific? There are a lot of creepy people here..." said Sasuke, glaring at Neji.

"What are you staring at Uchiha? Don't tell me you're desperate!" screamed Neji, cowering behind Kankuro.

"Hey kid! I'm no body guard!" screamed Kankuro.

He then left the change room, stomping off in a girly manner.

PAUSE

"Okay that was creepy..." muttered Neji.

"Yes, very. Now, we're running out of time go stop her Shikamaru!" said Sakura.

"It's her decision. Who am I to stop her? And why don't you do it?"

"She wants to hear it from you Shikamaru," said Sakura, desperately.

DRAMATIC PAUSE

"Fine...how troublesome," he muttered.

"Yay!" shouted Sakura, as she began throwing confetti into the air.

"ACHOO! IMA-LER-GEC!" screamed Shino, who was attempting to say 'I'm allergic'.

"I thought you were allergic to gym shorts!" screamed Naruto accusingly.

SILENCE

* * *

**Train station:**

''Troublesome people! Bringing me to a train station and then all of a sudden decided to walk their rabbits! I don't think Shino even has a one!'' muttered Shikamaru.

"Train B will be leaving for Suna now." rang the announcement.

"That voice sounds familiar..." thought Shikamaru. "Wait, did he say SUNA?"

He swiftly ran to the train and saw Ino leisurely reading a book by the window.

''Ino!'' he yelled.

"Shikamaru?" asked Ino, looking around in the train. Ino stared out the window and saw Shikamaru running, like Naruto would if ramen was sold for half price. The train then started moving slowly.

"Ino...AHH!" yelled Shikamaru, as he tripped, over his own shoelace.

"Shikamaru!"

HOW DRAMATIC...

Ino ran towards the driver's room. She shivered, when she heard someone say, "GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!"

"Stop the train!" she yelled, as she opened the door.

She twitched at what she saw. There in the driver's seat was Ash Ketchum from Pallet town and Pikachu. Both Ash and Pikachu were listening to the Pokemon soundtrack. The only words in the current song they were listening to were" "GOTTA CATCH EM ALL POKEMON!"

"What are you doing here!" screamed Ino.

"I'm the driver!" said Ash.

"Shouldn't you be catching Pokemon, or something?" asked Ino, horrified, as Ash and Pikachu started doing the forbidden, out of date, "Disco".

BIG MISTAKE

As soon as Ino said, "Pokemon," Ash Ketchum started singing the "Pokemon" theme song, rather horribly.

Ino covered her ears, "Shut up!" she pleaded.

Ash lowered his head in shame and turned to Pikachu. "I told you we should have worked at the circus!"' he yelled, at his partner in crime.

"Pika! Pika!"

"Don't back talk me!" yelled Ash, as he began strangling Pikachu.

"How do you even, understand him?" asked Ino, curiously.

"I don't know...you should ask the creator." said Ash, then he walked through the train's exit. Leaving the door open.

Ino sweat dropped.

The door was open the whole time...

''Shikamaru!'' she screamed running out of the door.

"Why me?" asked Shikamaru, as he was tackled onto the ground by Ino.

"You came." she exclaimed, in utter disbelief.

He smiled.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked.

"I don't know it's just that you're lazy and weird...'' Ino said. Shikamaru placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, interrupting her sentence in the process. He gazed into her eyes and she glanced back. He leaned in slowly, his grip on her shoulders relaxing, and placed his lips ever so lightly on her own.

Reporters, who were ready for action, appeared. Cameras flashed wildly, blinding the scholars and everyday people who were in the building.

"Guess he's not so lazy after all…" the Naruto gang muttered, among themselves.

Gai-sensei: You little Pika thing I'll sweep you away using my young mop!

Ash: NOOOOOOOOOO! Pikachu!

"Guess I'm not so lazy after all." he breathed, as he pulled away.

The Naruto gang then shouted, "We said that already!"

"Shut up you're spoiling the mood!"

The Naruto gang blinked. "What mood?" they asked, altogether.

"Um..." began Shikamaru.

Since it was too troublesome to think of anything he did the easiest thing that came to mind... he kissed her again.

Shino punched his fist into the air, victoriously and exclaimed, "Yes! Shino the Matchmaker prevails once again!"

The reporters gave each other questioning glances. "Shino the match maker is right behind us! This is not an imposter, seriously!" said one of the reporters. Fan girls soon appeared out of no where and began to flood the sub-way.

Shino took a step back and 'attempted' to shield himself from the light by pretending to be still like a tree, in a dark corner. When the stalkers approached he ran and shouted, "NO! My identity has been discovered! Must escapeeeee!"

Ash then came to the scene and made a peace sign. He grinned and said, "YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!" He paused, when he received, confused stares. "I MEAN….GOTTA CATCH EM ALL…"

"POKEMON!" screamed Neji.

SILENCE…….

"WHAT?" the Hyuuga questioned.

Ash shook his head and muttered, "Get your own catch phrase..."

**

* * *

**

**Next time on High School Of Weirdos:**

Sakura pushed the cafeteria doors opened and approached Sasuke. A look of distain was visible in her facial features.

"You lied'" screamed Sakura, slapping Sasuke, in front of the whole cafeteria.

"You used me! I never want to see you again," she yelled.

"Sakura" he called out, after her, confused.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! We're over!" she cried, as she left the cafeteria.


	12. The play and Jiraiya's death?

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**

* * *

**

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"POKEMON!" screamed Neji.

SILENCE…….

"WHAT?" the Hyuuga questioned.

Ash shook his head and muttered, "Get your own catch phrase..."

**

* * *

**

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"**  
**B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Cafeteria**

Sakura pushed the cafeteria doors opened and approached Sasuke. A look of distain was visible in her facial features.

"You lied" screamed Sakura, slapping Sasuke, in front of the whole cafeteria.

"You used me! I never want to see you again," she yelled.

"Sakura" he called out, after her, confused.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! We're over!" she cried, as she left the cafeteria.

"CUT!" yelled Tenten, shaking her head in shame.

Sakura entered the gym once more, and sent the director a questioning glance.

"NO! NO! NO! Sakura, you need more emotion more power into that bitch slap! I didn't rent the cafeteria for this!" snapped Tenten. She whipped around to face the bored, uninterested, Uchiha. "And you, Mr. I'm-going-to-make-Tenten-fail-due-to-my-idiocy, need to be all sad and embarrassed!"

"Why are we doing this again?" asked Sasuke, as he rubbed his burning cheek in distain.

"We're this because it's going towards our drama mark, Sasuke. Be happy Asuma-sensei allowed us be in the same group!" said Sakura.

"How come Naruto doesn't get slapped by a crazed girl?" demanded Sasuke.

An evil, sinister grin, made its way to the director, a.k.a Tenten's, face. "Heh, oh he will alright… he will..." she muttered.

SILENCE...

Tenten sweat dropped "Did I say that out loud?" she asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Opps..."

Suddenly, Asuma came crashing through the cafeteria doors, with, a crumbled piece of paper in hand.

"Okay, folks, I'm here to explain this little drama project… again!" he said, as he pulled out a cigar.

"Hey! Stop attempting to pollute the air!" yelled Naruto, pointing an accusing finger at his teacher.

Asuma paid no head to the warning and he pulled out his lighter.

Neji sighed, and pulled out an umbrella out of no where. Everyone started to hide in different spots for cover...

They all started chanting the countdown.

3...

2...

1...

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" shouted Naruto, as the sprinklers went on from the smoke.

"ACK! NOT AGAIN!" yelled Asuma, as he crushed the cigar under his sandal, and ducked, under a nearby table.

The announcements began to start at that moment... what a coincidence.

"Please pay attention to the news of the day..."

"Attention, Kakashi, has caught pie fever, so he will not be teaching today! NO, STOP HIM! THAT'S CHERRY PIE! DO YOU HEAR ME? CHERRY!''

"Ahem...sorry about that..."

"Secondly… um… ohh yeah! Tsunade is the best principal ever and she did not force me to say this for 10 dollars if that's what you're thinking!"

"And last but not least, the sprinklers have been installed in the cafeteria so a certain someone won't smoke and attempt to pollute the air anymore! Thank you, for listening to the news of the day and thank you for technology!"

"And thought I got it all planned out!" cried Asuma.

"Well you sure thought wrong..." muttered Ino, under her breath.

"Like I was saying! This project is for you're drama and health mark! You have to make a romantic play full of violence! Gooooooood violence… not crappy water gun violence, okay?" exclaimed Asuma.

"Ughh… This sounds like the work of Kakashi-sensei," mumbled Sakura.

''Actually it is! He said, he'll be there to mark your presentation."

Everyone groaned, knowing, how much ACTION their perverted sensei wanted.

"Lighten up! Now, Tenten is the director as planned. The stars will be Shino, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru and Ino!" said Asuma.

"But..." Shikamaru tried to protest.

"No buts! Ew, that sounds wrong... and disturbing… anyways Neji and Lee will be working on the sound effects during the performance. Last, but not least Jin will be working backstage with the lights and stuff..." stated Asuma.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone screeched, in pure horrification.

"That loser will probably try to sabotage Sasuke, and Sakura's, kiss scene!" screamed Tenten, pulling her hair in utmost horror.

"YES!" yelled Lee, punching the air in triumph.

SILENCE...

"Um, that came out wrong. I meant to say… uh… what a shame... yeah! That's it!" corrected Lee.

"I'M SORRY BUT JIN IS DOING THIS AND THAT'S FINAL!" yelled Asuma. Apparently, he screamed so loud that a nearby window broke. The students stared wide-eyed at their teacher. "Singing Lessons" muttered Asuma.

Naruto stifled a laugh. He then casually walked up to Asuma and muttered in a low and creepy voice, "Hey, I know a place were our beloved principal hasn't installed the sprinklers yet"

"Errr... that's bribing and you're probably lying!" accused Asuma.

"Well, it was worth a shot" said Naruto, shrugging at his failed attempt.

"I knew it! Anyways start on the play because it's due tomorrow." said Asuma, as he exited the cafeteria.

"Okay, you heard him let's start this thing" yelled Tenten.

"Boy, I sure feel sorry for you Neji" whispered Naruto.

"Shut up," retaliated Neji, lamely.

"Let's redo Sasuke and Sakura's scene again!"

"Don't slap me too hard" said Sasuke.

"Don't worry you won't even feel a thing!"

---------------------

2 hours 7 minutes and 55 seconds later...

After their 64th time of doing the scene over and over again Tenten was satisfied.

Sasuke, whose face was covered with bruises, sat on a chair while holding a freezing ice pack to his cheek, scowled.

"I thought you said I wouldn't feel a thing!" Sasuke barked, at his classmate, as she sat down on the seat beside him.

"I never said that..." said Sakura sheepishly.

Sasuke gave her the 'oh-and-I'm-a-pizza-delivery-guy look.'

"I guess I got carried away?"

"Sure, I believe you." responded Sasuke, his voice dripping with sarcasm. All of a sudden a really loud voice interrupted their conversation...

"SHIKAMARU, YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO LET INO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU, NOT DODGE HER ATTACKS!" yelled Tenten, from across the room. She was in her evil-obsessed director mode. It was best not to point out her insaneness, everyone thought.

Sasuke and Sakura sent each other questioning stares.

"And I thought I had it bad..." Sasuke mused, to himself.

**

* * *

**

**Principal's office: **

"Are they here yet?" asked Tsunade, her voice contained hints of impatience.

"Yes, Tsunade," answered Shizune.

The door opened and Jiraiya and Orochimaru entered.

"Nice to see you again, Tsunade," said Jiraiya, a creepy grin was plastered on his lips.

"I bought pie!" yelled Orochimaru, out of no where, as he smiled his creepy supposedly-nice smile.

"What happened to him?" whispered Tsunade.

Jiraiya shook his head with pity. "Therapy" he answered. Tsunade joined Jiraiya as they shook their heads in pity.

"So, does anyone want pie before the great poker game?" asked Orochimaru, cheerfully.

"OMG PIE?" asked some random person.

"STOP HIM!" yelled Tsunade, pointing at the deranged Kakashi, who was going after the pie.

In slow motion Jiraiya, slowly and dramatically jumped onto Kakashi, and grabbed the pie like a football. He then landed on the ground with pie splattered all over him. The scent of cherry pie filled the air… not that it didn't before.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Kakashi, in denial as Jiraiya squashed the pie before his eye. He walked over to Jiraiya, as calmly as possible, and tried to strangle him but he was pushed aside by Orochimaru.

"Jiraiya speak to me!" yelled Orochimaru, kicking his some-what friend.

The perverted man groaned and muttered his last words...

"T-This was my best shirt..."

With those words Jiraiya did some dramatic choking noises and closed his eyes.

"NOOOOOO! He was so old! He sacrificed his best shirt for us!" wept Orochimaru.

Tsunade shook her head in disbelief as she watched Orochimaru weep and Kakashi get pulled away to some unknown place… most likely therapy.

"This day just gets weirder and weirder." muttered Tsunade, as she turned her attention back to her paperwork.

**

* * *

**

**Cafeteria:**

"And action!" yelled Tenten.

"No Shikamaru! Why did you have to die?" cried Ino dramatically.

Shikamaru's eyes opened, "Because it's part of the script."

"ARGH! SHIKAMARU! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO ANSWER HER!" yelled Tenten, in frustration.

"I can't help it" said Shikamaru.

"Then you leave me no choice," muttered Tenten, with her evil director-obsessed smile.

Tenten pulled out a roll of tape and a bottle of super glue

"WHA...WHAT NO PLEASE!" begged Shikamaru.

It was too late...

**

* * *

**

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos:**

"NARUTO YOU PERVERT!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GIRL'S CHANGEROOM?"

"AHA! I KNEW YOU WERE A GIRL!"


	13. Lights, Idiots & action!

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos: **

Tenten pulled out a roll of tape and a bottle of super glue

"WHA...WHAT NO PLEASE!" begged Shikamaru.

It was too late...

**

* * *

**

**"H**i**g**h **S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"  
B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**Gym/Front Stage: **

"Get set! You're on in 5!" yelled Asuma, as he disappeared backstage.

"You heard the man, so, get set! You're on in 5!'' repeated Tenten.

Suddenly, Lee appeared out of no where...

"Tenten, did you see Sakura?" he asked, quickly.

"Nope, I think she's practicing her lines somewher-" said Tenten, trailing off as she countinued going over her clipboard of information.

"Is she with Sasuke?" demanded Lee.

"No, I don't think so..." she answered, as she casually crossed out a name on the list.

"Excellent..." said Lee, grinning evilly intertwining his fingers, like Mr. Burns in the Simpson.

"What did you say?" asked Tenten, looking up from the clipboard. She wasn't exactly paying much attention the entire time thanks, to the clipboard of 'POWA'.

"I said doughnuts! I'll go get some doughnuts!" said Lee, as he made his way towards the gym's backstage.

"Get mine with extra chocolate! Lots of chocolateeeeeeeee! And don't forget the coffee! Lots of coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Tenten screamed, after the Lee, who was fleeing promptly due to intense fear.

"Like you need any..." muttered Neji, who happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Tenten took out her handy, dandy, bottle of super glue and tape and waved it threateningly in front of her boyfriend.

"What did you just say Neji?" asked Tenten.

"I said..." began Neji.

Neji looked behind Tenten, only to see Naruto pretending to choke himself. When Neji sent the blonde an irritated glare Naruto began and making an "x" with his arms telling Neji not to repeat his statement.

"Well, are you going to say it?" asked Tenten, who was oblivious to the fact that Naruto, was behind her.

"I said..." began Neji, again.

Neji glanced behind Tenten once more out of pure curiosity to see Naruto, shaking his head furiously. Naruto then ran into the girl's change room...

"Like I was saying before a stupid idiot was bothering me, you..." He was interrupted as he heard some dramatic screams...

"NARUTO YOU PERVERT!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GIRL'S CHANGEROOM?"

"AHA! I KNEW YOU WERE A GIRL!"

"-MRPH- Save –MRPH- Me –MRPH- You –MRPH- Troublesome –MRPH- TROUBLESOME IDIOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"MY SHOELACE IS UNTIED, THOUGH!"

"SO?"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TIE THEM!"

"….."

"SHIKAMARU HOLD ON BUDDY!"

"HIT HIM WITH YOUR BRA!"

"EXCUSE-ME?"

"NO, NOT THAT!"

"DUCKKKKKKKKK!"

"WHERE?"

"DRAMA SENSES TINGLING!"

"QUACK! QUACK!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

After a bunch of ramblings and violence Naruto emerged out of the girl's change room ALIVE! With a beaten up Shikamaru because he used him as a human shield...

"-MRPH- Finally -MRPH- You –MRPH- Troublesome idiot!" screamed Shikamaru, spitting out the glue that once held his mouth together.

"Hey, there's still tape on your mouth." yelled Naruto. He automatically, carelessly and swiftly pulled the tape off without even thinking.

"OW! YOU IDIOT!" screamed Shikamaru.

"At least you won't have to shave anymore..." said Naruto, very lamely. Neji, who was watching the entire fiasco, was very, VERY freaked out, and who would blame him? His girlfriend was undeniable creepy...

"Yeah, well like I was saying Neji, you shouldn't get Tenten mad or you'll end up like Shikamaru here," said Naruto, scratching the back of his head nervously.

Shikamaru nodded his head, he had learned his lesson.

"Well, Neji didn't you want to say something?" asked Tenten.

Everyone turned around to find Neji was gone.

Without a trace...

**

* * *

**

**Backstage: **

"Uchiha Sasuke" said Jin.

"Someone I don't want to know" greeted Sasuke.

"I'm ashamed in you..."

Sasuke gave Jin a confused look.

"Heh, idiot" muttered Jin.

He took out a pocket knife and cut a nearby rope causing a bag of flour to hit Sasuke knocking him unconscious.

"HA HA! I knew cooking class would be helpful one day" screamed Jin.

Jin looked down at the unconscious Sasuke and smirked.

"Well, the show must go on...and who better to play your role than me?" Jin asked himself, like a complete psychopath.

"Sakura will be mine..." thought Jin evilly.

(Evil theme song begins to play)

"MU HA HA HA HA! MU HA HA HA HA HA! COUGH! COUGH! NO I'm allergic to flour! AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Jin, running around in circles.

"Keep it down" said Sakura, from some unknown place.

"Oh no Sakura's coming! Better hide the evidence..." thought Jin.

"But how...?"

* * *

**Somewhere random:**

Kankuro was walking by until he saw the most beautiful thing ever...

"Could it be?" thought Kankuro curiously.

Yes, there in the opened janitors' closet was a broom!

"It's so beautiful!" cried Kankuro, as he started sweeping the hallways with the broom.

"Finally, a broom that hasn't been broken by that maniac Gai something!" cried Kankuro.

Kankuro was walking backstage until he spotted...IT!

Yes IT! IT was a...

MESS!

Finally, his time to SHINE!

Kankuro looked around backstage and saw a panicking, coughing, laughing maniac, Jin who was trying to pull Sasuke into the closet. Since everyone was in the front nobody knew what Jin was doing...weird...

"Hey, crazy-freak-I-don't-want-to-know, do you need help?" asked Kankuro riding his broom to Jin "Harry Potter" style.

"Yes! Wait...how much do I have to pay you?" asked Jin suspiciously. Free help doesn't come these days unless you ask Gai-sensei... freaky

"10 dollars an hour!" said Kankuro, proudly.

"How about 10 acorns an hour?" asked Jin.

"DEAL!" yelled Kankuro. Jin stood in his spot and watched in awe as Kankuro started sweeping away the flour for acorns...

"Now, what should I do about Sasuke?" thought Jin.

(Light bulb appears on top of Jin's head and burns him in the process)

"Ow," muttered Jin rubbing his head due to the imaginary light bulb. "I got an idea!" exclaimed Jin, surprised at himself for actually having some form of a plan.

He then took out a marker and drew on Sasuke's face (or he thought he did…)

He then stood back and admired his work...

Sasuke was now unrecognizable...

He looked like...

(Dramatic music)

HIMSELF?

"Damn it. I'm allergic to marker! No matter, I will have Sakura!" cried Jin, as he threw the marker behind his back hitting Kankuro's head in the process.

"AHHHHHHHH! UFO! They've come for my intelligent brain!" screamed Kankuro, as he felt the impact of the marker collide with his head. Jin sweat dropped as Kankuro paused in the middle of his ramblings and took notice of the marker.

"Hahaha…I was just practicing for my secret play…yeah that's all…" muttered Kankuro lamely. After the "UFO" crisis was solved, Jin dragged Sasuke to the janitor's closet and left him there with the help of Kankuro.

"HAHAHA! Let the show begin!" yelled Jin.

"Where are my acorns?" screamed Kankuro.

"Hahaha... a squirrel ate them, deal with it" said Jin, lamely as he ran away.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! DAMN YOU SQUIRRELS!" sobbed Kankuro.

**

* * *

**

**Gym/ Front stage: **

"Asuma-sensei!" yelled Tenten.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, Sasuke's missing...what should we do?"

"Hmm..."

10 MINUTES LATER...

"Asuma-sensei?" asked Tenten.

"WHAT? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Ohh, it's you Tenten."

Tenten sweat dropped, "Yeah, I said Sasuke's missing, what should we do?"

"Hmm..."

At that exact moment Jin happened to walk by.

"Jin! You will replace Sasuke! Deal with it!" said Asuma.

"Who me?" asked Jin lamely.

Why didn't he seem surprised...?

"Yes you! Do you see any other weirdos here?" asked Asuma.

SILENCE...

"I forgot you're all weirdos! Anyways, Tenten your problem is solved" said Asuma.

"WHAT! THAT CREEP CAN'T KISS SAKURA! WE ALREADY PRACTICED IT 50 TIMES WITH SASUKE ALREADY!" screamed Tenten.

"Actually, it was 64 times Tenten. Trust me I counted! I also relished every time the bastard got a slap in the face..."

Everyone stared at Naruto.

"DAMN YOU PEOPLE! DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TEACH YOU IT'S NOT NICE TO STARE!" cried Naruto, who began sobbing in a corner.

"Well, let the play begin!"

Everyone groaned when they saw the comment's owner...

Hatake Kakashi a.k.a MR.I-WANT PEVERTISM! NOW!

**

* * *

**

**The play: **

"Ahem! Ladies and Gentlemen hope you enjoy our beloved play called 'High School Of Weirdos'!

"ARE YOU CALLING US LADIES?" screamed Kakashi and Asuma.

Tenten sweat dropped. "Um, of course not, I just forgot that Kurenai-sensei couldn't come... yeah that's it!"

The two teachers dumbly nodded, sat down, and urged her to countinue.

"Okay, for sound effects we have Neji and Lee, and our stars are Shino, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru and Ino. During this play I, Tenten, will be the narrator! Let the play begin!"

The curtains opened...

"Shikamaru!"

"Damn, not another fan girl" he mumbled, as Ino jumped onto him.

"Nara Shikamaru, he may seem like a dork but he's actually a playboy..." began Tenten.

"Yes, I, Nara Shikamaru am a playboy" he confessed lamely, as he began flirting with Ino.

"Shikamaru!"

The lazy teenager sighed inwardly, cursing, as Sakura and Ino began to fight over him.

"Each day and night Shikamaru was fought over by Sakura and Ino until..."

"I, Shino, the matchmaker will solve this!" exclaimed the matchmaker, with enthusiasm.

"Great Shino the matchmaker! I beg you! Please help!" said Shikamaru, dramatically.

"You two girls! I shall flip a coin and who ever guesses right will get this dork as their beloved boyfriend!" said Shino with his glasses flashing. The two girls nodded.

"Why am I the dork?" muttered Shikamaru.

"Heads or tails?" he asked Ino.

"Tails" she said, confidently. Shino flipped the coin...It landed on...

HEADS?

"Ahem..." Tenten sweat dropped, as she watched Shino, flipped the coin over and began to whistle, innocently.

"Why, would you look at that its tails!" yelled Shino, lamely. Asuma and Kakashi also sweat dropped...

"Oh no! Who am I going to date now?" asked Sakura lamely.

"Hm...How about you date...SASUKE!" shouted Shino, pointing to his left. Everybody turned their heads to Shino's left…no one was there…

"Ahem! Sakura decided to follow Shino's advice and date SASUKE!" repeated, as she shouted Sasuke's name abnormally loud. Jin appeared on the stage at that moment.

Sakura gave an angry glare at Tenten demanding an explanation, but Tenten just shrugged also confused.

"After years of dating SASUKE decided to propose to Sakura'' said Tenten as she once again yelled Sasuke.

"Sakura will you marry me?'' asked Jin.

"Um...'"

Everyone stared at her.

"I...I will," muttered Sakura.

He leaned down to kiss her when a powerful impact met his cheek once again.

"Don't touch my women, idiot" snapped Sasuke.

"SASUKE!" everyone screamed, in surprise.

"Sa...Sasuke? HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M YOUR WOMEN? OMG Dè já vu?" screamed Sakura.

Kakashi and Asuma never expected this...

"So beautiful and stupid" said Kakashi, as he whipped away his happy tears. Asuma nodded as he also whipped away his tears and handed Kakashi a handkerchief.

"Sakura, will you marry me?" asked Sasuke.

"YES!" screamed Sakura, as she latched herself onto him.

He kissed her and she kissed him back.

"NOW LEE!" screamed Neji backstage, flailing his arms frantically. Rock Lee whipped away his tears of sorrow as he and Neji begin doing wind effects.

"WHOOOSH! WHOOOSH!" they both screamed.

Everyone sweat dropped...Way to ruin the mood…

"YOU IDIOTS! WRONG SCENE!" hissed Tenten loud enough for only backstage to hear.

"WHOOOSH! WHOOSH!" continued Lee, oblivious to Tenten's angry words until he felt someone punch his head.

"Ow! Neji? What was that for?"

"For being an idiot…"

"Ahem, that very same day Naruto decided to propose to Hinata."

Suddenly, Naruto ran on stage panicking.

"HINATA FAINTED! LET'S JUST PRETEND SHE SAID YES..." said Naruto.

"IDIOT!" screamed Tenten, as she kicked Naruto off-stage.

"Ahem, that very same day Shikamaru decided to propose to Ino."

"Ino will you marry me you troublesome women?" asked Shikamaru, lazily.

"OF COURSE!" yelled Ino.

"Everything was perfect until LEEana discovered this.''

Suddenly Lee, I mean LEEana (who was wearing a wig and dress…) appeared holding a sniper (which is not real...) and aimed it at Shikamaru.

"If I can't have you no one can!" shouted Lee in a girly voice.

THAT IS SOOOOO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS...

BANG!

There was smoke everywhere...once it began to clear Shikamaru was on the floor with Ino beside him.

"Shikamaru! Why did you have to die?" cried Ino dramatically.

Shikamaru's eyes opened, ''Because it's part of the script...''

Tenten slapped her forehead in anger but she decided to let it slide.

"Well this is the end of-"

"WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ABOUT THAT BITCH SLAP SCENE I SUFFERED SO MUCH FOR?" screamed Sasuke, angrily.

SILENCE...

"Hahaha...'' laughed Tenten nervously. She sent Sasuke an obtrusive death glare for interrupting her and countinued, ignoring the really pissed Uchiha behind her who was being restrained by Sakura.

So yes, this is the end of 'High School Of Weirdos'! Sasuke married Sakura, Naruto and Hinata, Shikamaru with Ino and Shino with um...LEEana!'' yelled Tenten.

Shino gave Tenten a death glare.

"Alright, alright. Shino remained happy and single''

Shino's glasses flashed brilliantly and he gave the audience 2 thumbs up. Everyone (except Jin, since he's unconscious) bowed as the curtains closed. The Naruto gang had a little trouble closing the curtains since Jin was lying in the middle of the stage...but they managed.

"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!" screamed Kakashi clapping his hands together like a maniac while a creepy grin was plastered on his face.

"Who would've expected such drama, comedy, romance, humour and dumbness all in one play?" asked Asuma. "A PLUS, PLUS!" exclaimed Asuma and Kakashi. They then began jumping up and down.

Yes, what a strange day indeed...

* * *

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos: **

"NO! Luke I am your father!" screamed Darth Vader, appearing out of no where with his cape flying from the air conditioning.

"I'm not Luke, I'm Naruto!"

"SHUT UP! FROM NOW ON YOU SHALL BE LUKE! YOU ARE MY SON!" screamed Darth Vader as he pulled out a light saber. At that exact moment the cashier hit Vader with the baseball bat.

OUCH…


	14. Idiots! It was I, Itachi, all along!

**full summary: **A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen

**disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**

* * *

**

**Last time in High School Of Weirdos:**

"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!" screamed Kakashi clapping his hands together like a maniac while a creepy grin was plastered on his face.

"Who would've expected such drama, comedy, romance, humour and dumbness all in one play?" asked Asuma. "A PLUS, PLUS!" exclaimed Asuma and Kakashi. They then began jumping up and down.

Yes, what a strange day indeed...

* * *

**"H**i**g**h** S**c**h**o**o**l **O**f** W**e**i**r**d**o**s"**  
**B**y:L**i**m**e**Q**u**a**r**t**z**

**In a store:**

Uzumaki, Naruto was pacing around in a local shop, shopping for food DUH! Ahem, sorry about that…anyways he wasn't in a good mood because the ramen shop was closed so here he was, in a store without ramen...who would've thought?

"Hmm…what should I buy?" he thought, grumpily.

Suddenly, something caught his eye…A BOX? A BOX OF…

"CEREAL!" screamed Naruto, jumping into the air in excitement.

AND IT HAD A PRIZE?

"YAYNESS!" he screamed, as he took the cereal off the shelf and ripped it apart without even thinking.

A flash of blinding light emerged…

"AHH! MY EYES!" screamed Naruto dropping the box of cereal. When the light disappeared, the guy who was working at the cashier was in front of Naruto and he looked REALLY angry.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE SON?" screamed the cashier dude, with a baseball bat in his hand.

"I'm your son?" inquired Naruto curiously.

"NO! Luke I am your father!" screamed Darth Vader, appearing out of no where with his cape flying from the air conditioning.

"I'm not Luke, I'm Naruto!"

"SHUT UP! FROM NOW ON YOU SHALL BE LUKE! YOU ARE MY SON!" screamed Darth Vader as he pulled out a light saber. At that exact moment the cashier hit Vader with the baseball bat.

OUCH…

"Now that he's out of the way answer me! Do you know what you've just done?" demanded the cashier dude, furiously.

"I opened a box of cereal without paying?" answered Naruto.

"CORRECT! I mean NO! You just unleashed a terrible curse you baboon!" screamed the cashier dude, gripping his baseball bat tighter due to anger.

"I'm not a BABOON! I'm LUKE! I mean NARUTO!" he screamed.

"What ever…you shall pay for your idiotic action" screamed the cashier, as he raised the bat above his head.

"OKAY…I MEAN WHATTTT!" Naruto jumped out of the way just in time, causing the bat to collide with the floor. He then ran for the door but it was locked! Or so he thought…

"YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE!" screamed the cashier as he approached Naruto 'zombie' style. Cue horror theme music and screaming people…

"HEY, MAN! IF YOU WANT TO PLAY WACK-A-MOLE GO TO CHUCK-E-CHEESE!" screamed Naruto, jumping out of the way again.

"MU HA HA HA HA HA HA! Hey wait a minute! Are you questioning my authorities?" demanded the maniac cashier.

"Maybe…wait, you're an authority?"

SILENCE…

COUGH

"YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR TRETCHERIES!" screamed the man, as he jumped behind his cashier counter and bought out…WTF?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Naruto, as he fell to his knees. How did this lunatic know his ultimate, secret, weakness, next to candy and ramen?

"HA HA! YES, IT'S MY HOMEWORK A.K.A ALGEBRA! THE MOST FEARED OBJECT IN THE UNIVERSE!" screamed the cashier, as he began banging on his counter for some odd reason.

"Mu…must…es…escape," muttered Naruto, dramatically, as he reached for the door knob.

IF ONLY THE MANAGER COULD SEE THIS…

"YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE! IT'S LOCKED!"

Suddenly, a burst of wind magically came from the air conditioning causing the doors to fly open…

SILENCE…

"Just leave will you?"****

**

* * *

**

**The next day:**

"Huh, was that all a dream?" thought Naruto.

He pushed himself off his bed and ran a hand through his blue hair. Wait, blue hair? He looked down…he had KNOCKERS? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? He scanned his environment, this wasn't his room! He turned around to be face to face with a mirror.

A girly scream erupted from his mouth:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Before Naruto could countinue his girly scream. There was suddenly, a loud knock at the door. Naruto quickly rushed towards it and pulled it open. It was Shikamaru…something was different about him though…

"Hinata! You have to help me!" he screamed.

"I'm Naruto, you lazy ass! Some how I've wounded up in Hinata's body!" screamed Naruto, his voice high pitched.

"So, you're Naruto, you say?" asked Shikamaru, thoughtfully.

"YES! I'm Naruto, not Hina-"

Naruto didn't get to finish his sentence when he felt a stinging pain on his right cheek. Technically, it's Hinata's cheek since he's in her body…

"WHA-WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHIKAMARU!" screamed Naruto, backing away due to fear.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU MADE ME CHIP A NAIL!"

"Shi…Shikamaru?" asked Naruto, who was really freaked out. Why was Shikamaru acting so girly?

"THIS IS ALL ONE OF YOUR STUPID PRANKS ISN'T IT? YOU'RE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS BODY SWAP!" he screamed pointing an accusing finger at Naruto.

"But if you're not Shikamaru then you're…"

"..…"

"YOU'RE KAKASHI AREN'T YOU?"

"BAKA! IT'S ME, INO!" screamed Shikamaru, hitting Naruto's head.

"OW…HEY WAIT! THAT MEANS…"

"I'm in her body, how troublesome" Naruto and Ino turned towards the new voice, and it was none other than Ino, with Shikamaru's rotten personality.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING? IS THIS FREAKY FRIDAY OR SOMETHING?" screamed Ino, through Shikamaru's body.

"No, it's freaky Sunday!" screamed Naruto.

Shikamaru and Ino gave Naruto death glares indicating it was time for him to keep quiet. "Wait, what exactly happened?" the lazy man asked, mildly interested for once.

''I don't know…Wait, I remember now! It's the curse of the cereal box!'' screamed Naruto.

"What are you talking about? Talk normal for once!" screamed Ino, punching a fist into her hand threateningly.

"I met this cashier guy in a store and he tried to kill me for unleashing the curse of the cereal box…"

SILENCE…

"So… how do we get rid of this troublesome thing?" asked Shikamaru, in Ino's body.

"Good question"

Shikamaru, Ino and Naruto turned around to be greeted with Hinata, Neji, Tenten, Sasuke and Sakura.

"YOU GUYS SWITCHED TOO?" screamed Naruto, slightly bewildered.

"YES, AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ISN'T IT?" screamed Sakura, in Sasuke's body.

"Sakura stop doing that! You're making me look girly," muttered Sasuke who obviously was in Sakura's body.

"Oh yeah! Then get your hand of my ass!" she screamed, pointing at herself.

"MY HAND ISN'T ON YOUR ASS!" screamed Sasuke, defiantly.

"SHUT UP!" screamed Tenten, waving a bottle of super glue and tape threateningly. In this case it looked like Neji was doing it though…

Suddenly, a fan girl appeared as if on cue…

"Neji!" squealed the fan girl. Tenten cringed as the creepy fan girl approached her.

"Will you go out with me?" asked the fan girl seductively. Tenten felt herself turning very, VERY angry. For once she was glad Naruto had done something stupid.

"Now, time to break this fan girl's heart" thought Tenten, in Neji's body evilly. "Listen, little girl. Why would I date you when I'm dating Tenten? She's fabulous, beautiful, lovely, smart, brave, courageous…"

"Brave and courageous are the same…"

"SHUT UP!"

No one dared to argue…

"Hey, that line was only meant for me!" screamed Kakashi out of no where.

Tenten kicked Kakashi to some unknown place (probably over the moon) and sighed as she continued her speech through Neji, "Anyways, Tenten is pretty, beautiful, enthusiastic…" Neji sweat dropped, as he watched himself act like a total obsessed freak.

"Idiot, explain how this happened." demanded Sasuke.

"DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT YOU BASTARD! NOW, COME ON GUYS! LET'S THINK POSITIVE! From now on Sakura will be emotional, Sasuke will be all happy, Neji will be all talkative, Tenten will be emotional person two, Shikamaru will be all girly, Ino will be lazy, Hinata I mean myself will be hyper and hot, while my old self will be shy and faints a lot...and hot!"

Everyone drowned Naruto will death glares.

"Please…go…easy…on…Naru…Naruto" whispered Hinata, intertwining her fingers together nervously. It was weird seeing Naruto stutter.

"ARGH! My head hurts! Who's who? Why did Naruto just stutter!" screamed Tenten.

"You're Neji and Naruto stuttered because it's not Naruto but Hinata…" answered Naruto, confusing himself.

SILENCE…

"When did Naruto get so smart? Is this DESTINY?" thought Neji, curiously.

"Wait, why aren't you stuttering Hinata?" asked Tenten, in Neji's body.

''BECAUSE I'M NARUTO!'' screamed the blond. Correction: blue-haired.

"Ohh yeah…"

"Ino, how can you survive wearing this?" asked Shikamaru, trying to pull the purple mini skirt down.

"Well, how do you survive wearing a net shirt? Isn't this used for fishing?" countered Ino.

"BREAKKKK IT UP DUDES, OR IN THE NAME OF THE MOON I SHALL PUNISH YOU!" screamed Tenten.

"OKAY! THAT WAS WEIRDDDD! NOW WHAT DO WE DO NOW?" screamed Sakura, like a lunatic pulling at her now spiky, gelled blue hair.

"Let's go visit the cashier guy, I'm sure he has some ideas." muttered Neji, coolly.

Without a moment's hesitation everyone ran to the store…****

**

* * *

**

**The store:**

"HA HA! I told you, you'd pay for your treacheries!" screamed the cashier dude.

"Ohh put a sock in it! How do we reverse this troublesome curse?" asked Shikamaru.

"There is only one way but it is considered impossible," said the cashier dramatically.

"TELL US!'' the Naruto gang shouted all at once.

"Well…you need…"

Everyone leaned closer.

"BALONEY!"

"WHAT?" screamed the Naruto gang.

"Ha ha sorry! I was thinking about my stuffed bear Baloney." said the Cashier.

Everybody sweat dropped.

"What a beautiful name, now spit it out!" screamed Sakura, angrily.

"I swear, women. That is soooooooo your catch phrase." muttered Shikamaru.

"Okay, well back on the topic. To turn back to normal you will need..."

Everyone leaned closer.

"MILK!" screamed the cashier.

Everyone sweat dropped.

"This isn't another stuff animal is it?" asked Neji, aggravated.

"I'm afraid not...BUT I WILL BE!" screamed the Cashier dude, scribbling the name down on a nearby notepad.

"Where is it?" asked Sasuke.

"Well, it was here…but someone bought it earlier today…" the cashier trailed off, when he saw angry glares.

"THE INTELLIGENT MAN'S NAME WAS ITACHI! DON'T KILL ME!" screamed the cashier cowering being the counter.

"ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?" everyone screamed.

"PARDON MY FRENCH BUT JE SUIS CONFUS!"

"BAKA! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID?"

"NO! THAT'S WHY I SAID PARDON MY FRENCH NOW QUICK! WE MUST HURRY BEFORE ITACHI DRINKS THE MILK!" screamed Naruto, pointing towards the door.

''I KNEW ITACHI WASN'T LACTOSE INTOLERANT!'' screamed Sasuke angrily.

"Hey, what happens if Itachi is able to magically drink all of the milk in one day?" asked Tenten.

"Well…you'll be stuck…forever…" said the cashier dude.

''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''

"Sasuke! I mean Sakura! I mean you freak! Please tell me your brother isn't going to magically be able to drink it all in one day!" screamed Tenten.

"Well…Oh shit…"

"What's the troublesome news? TELL US!" screamed Shikamaru, kicking a nearby cereal box.

"Itachi's having a sleep-over today…"

"SO?" asked everyone.

"Which means the shark guy will be there…"

"SO?"

"Which means there will be lots of pancakes…"

"SO?"

"WHICH MEANS MILK YOU DUMB-"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT WORD IN THIS K PLUS RATED FANFIC!" screamed the cashier dude, bringing out a baseball bat.

SILENCE…

"This isn't a K plus rated fiction but whatever! Let's go stop Itachi!" said Sakura.

"YEAH!"

The riot rushed out the door before you can say "EXACTA-MOON-DO"

"Poor kids…I tried to warn them," thought the cashier as he smirked. He pulled his mask off when the gang was out of sight…

"IDIOTS IT WAS I, ITACHI, ALL ALONG! MU HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Will the Naruto gang ever return back to normal?

Why was Itachi pretending to be a cashier dude?

Why am I asking you these questions?

Tune in next time and find out!

**

* * *

**

**Next time in High School Of Weirdos:**

"Where's Itachi? I want my pancakes!" screamed Kisame loudly.

"Be quiet, yeah! You're annoying me, yeah!" screamed Deidara, as he continued going through Itachi's wardrobe.

"What are you looking for?" asked Sasori, monotonously.

"Heh, heh yeah! I found it, yeah!" screamed Deidara.

Everyone crowded around him to see the great discovery.

"O" muttered Sasori.

"M" muttered Hidan.

"G, yeah!" shouted Deidara holding the item up for the world to see. "It seems my hypothesis was correct, yeah" said Deidara in a smart tone of voice putting on his imaginary glasses. "Itachi…"

DRAMATIC PAUSE...

"Wears boxers covered with teddy bears, yeah!" screamed Deidara.

"THAT'S IT! YOU'VE TAINTED MY MIND! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN I SHALL PUNISH YOU!" screamed the shark-like man pointing at Deidara.

"Don't you mean moon? In the name of the moon I shall punish you?" asked Zetsu.

SILENCE

"Whatever…"


End file.
